Wherever you're from. You're very welcome. Hopefully you can see my screen. OK? And what I'm going to talk about, I was obviously feeling a little bit spicy when I put this uh this title together. So we're not worthy. Uh Yes, we are.And I think it was as a result of um a number of different mentee that I've worked with. So I took on mentoring when COVID began, we were all at home and I didn't have to do a four hour day commute anymore. So I put some time into mentoring people. Um And what I discovered is that a lot of the challenges that a lot of the mentees had were the same. So I'm going to go through some of the suggestions I have on that today with regards to establishing your worth. Now, this can be applied to your personal life. I'm going to try and, and for the sake of time today um base it around work and going for promotions or going for salary increases and things like that in your career side of things. But you can apply this to any part of your life and basically establishing a sense of self worth um in all of those different areas and it can be different in different parts.

So, what I've learned, especially as a mentor is that the biggest hurdle I've seen all of the women that I've worked with and I've worked with men as well. So I seen the issue with them is that, um they struggle to either identify their, their self worth or to own it. Um And that's a big phrase that you'll see if you ever hear me talking and presenting or writing anything. It's all often around self worth and having a sense of owning it because as soon as I discovered it myself, um I discovered what a powerful tool that is. So my goal today is to show you how to identify your work, how to own it, how to demand it, how to demonstrate it and how to exceed it. And we're going to do that in 19 minutes. Then I pop my linkedin link into the chat there. If anybody wants to connect, if you've got questions or anything afterwards, because I appreciate I am going to fire fast through this presentation. Um So because the title sounded an awful lot like the l'oreal Ad, I put the hair in the background. This one I'm very fond of slides but not very fond of texts on slides as you will see from here. So when we talk about owning your work, how do you do it?

How do you first determine what your worth is, what your value is and what that means to you versus what that may mean to partners, colleagues, friends, family and things like that. It's really important that you have your own sense of identity when it comes down to worth because everybody else will fall into line once you're comfortable with that and you start to own it. Um So when it comes to work and we'll talk about the career specific ones in this case. Firstly, it can be a practical exercise. Identify the skills that you have any training that you have any strengths that you have and unique selling points. And we're all thinking that's easy. I put all that on my linkedin every day. But what I've learned when I'm reviewing linkedin with mentees and with colleagues and with friends, um when they're going for positions and jobs and promotions is that they don't. And more especially I see this with women than I do with men is um that you tick the box, you copy paste the requirements from job roles that you're applying for and you make sure that the box is ticked, but you don't tell the story as true to you. So whether it's saying that I have yes, I have skills I've studied for a degree or I have skills in other areas or through life.

Um How you say that in your, your linkedin profile or in your resume or in your conversations and interviews tells a lot about how you have, how your own sense of self worth and value is. So when I talk about owning things, it's down to things as simple as the language that you use. When you're describing yourself in all of these different um areas. When you talk about um your challenges and your skills, actually using things like the challenges that I have found are and the skills that I have gained are because people have a tendency to talk to the third person. And a lot of times when they're doing this, but research the career that you are aiming for. So not necessarily, that isn't always the same as the career that you're in and do a lot of research and see where you align to that career. What I've discovered in a lot of cases when I've seen people want to move into, say the world of cybersecurity and they may be working in tech or in a different area of tech. And they're thinking I have to start all over again. No, 90% of what you're going to need moving into cybersecurity are skills you already have. Um And the rest of them are skills that can be learned quite easily.

So it's just about having the confidence to put forward the skills that you have to meet the majority of the criteria. And that's the important thing, the majority of the criteria for what you want. Not all of the criteria. And we, as women suck at this, we have to tick every single box before we're going to send an application request and a pay rise or go for a promotion. And, um, men don't, it's that simple. It's that black and white, they'll chance their arm and they'll apply for it and see what sticks. And we won't. We want to make sure we tick all of those boxes and if we don't take all of those boxes, we won't try um compare yourself to your colleagues, see what you bring to the table that your colleagues don't. Because as a woman, there are going to be some traits that you bring to the table that are completely different. There's things that were known to be strong at around empathy and compassion. Um but there's also going to be other practical day to day skills that you're just better at. Maybe it's um organizing your workload, maybe it is delegating, maybe it is time management.

But there is going to be something that you being a woman or not and just you as an vigil will do differently better or more than some of your colleagues and make notes of your wins. I keep a, a word file on my desktop and I couldn't paste any compliments I get from anyone whether it's on linkedin, whether it's my boss, whether it's from a customer that I work with. Um anywhere at all. I take those and I put them in that word document and I read it right before I have an important conversation because I need to remind myself that the worth that I know that I have is valid. And that's one of the tools that I use to make sure that I can maintain that through the conversation that I have. We're all going to have that imposter syndrome moment. We're all going to second guess ourselves that's human. Um So any tools that you can keep on board that will help you um keep them handy. And so for me, it's a word document. I actually keep one of those word documents for each of my, the people on my team now as well. So that when it comes to reviews that I am reminded constantly of their strengths and review doesn't become a review of the things they need to improve. But it's also a review of the goals and achievements that they've had over the last year as well.

And don't forget about the things that you do outside of work. A lot of my biggest achievements have not actually been in the workplace, they've been outside of the workplace where I feel I've made the biggest difference in other people's lives. Um whether it is getting involved in women in tech things, which, which is a lot. So I won't start listening but um or doing something like mentoring or, you know, helping with, with school committees and things like that. Um, I often feel there's a greater sense of value to some of those things that I've done than what I do in my day to day work. Don't tell my boss. But, uh, but remember these things because these things are all a part of you as well and maybe you're more comfortable bringing strength to those things than you are to some things in the day to day job. But once you can identify them, you can bring them both together. So that's how you identify it in order to own it. Make those lists, have everything written down or voice recorded or wherever you need to have it. So that you have this ready supply of things that when you want to go for a promotion, want to move or change jobs, want to update your linkedin, want to change your resume, want to do all those things that you don't have to sit there on probably a day when you're not in the best mood, which is usually when I want to change those things.

And I can't think about all my positives. But if I have this document there and I'll start reading through it, I very quickly remember um that I'm bad ass and I deserve everything that's coming in my direction and sometimes I deserve things that people don't know that I should have. But I will make sure that because I have this, I'll let them know. So from owning it then to demanding it. I think that, um, a lot of women when it comes to demanding their worth in the workplace, this is what they feel like they're doing that they're hollering and screaming and going foot stamping and saying I want, I want, I want, I want, um, that may be what it feels like to you, but it's absolutely not.

Um, to your leadership, I can be sure of it. One thing I've learned as a leader and I've been a leader only for a year now is that and the day that the tables turn and you become a leader, you suddenly have to take everything at face value. People don't talk to you as much about um all of the ins and outs of the day, you're not their colleague anymore, you're their leader. So if they tell you something is grand, it's fine or if something does not work and you have to take it at face value. So when it comes to somebody telling me as a leader or me telling my leader, are you telling yours what it is that you need to be successful in your job or what it is that you want to strive for? And you need to be really, really clear in your goal because if you tell them in or like in my case, I mean, I told my boss for years and for me to be successful, I want to be a leader. What do I need to do to become a leader. There was no confusion there for my boss when it came to, to outlining the goals that I needed to achieve, to become a leader. It meant that he could help me do that.

We had tangible goals to achieve together. So when it comes to demanding it, you are not foot stamping and screaming to get what you want. What you're doing is simply establishing that these are all of the goals and achievements and things that I can do and have done so far. And this is the direction that I want to go in. These are the goals that I want to achieve. What can you do with me to help me be successful? That's really important, really clear and concise. No, please can I have no, I'm sorry. But beforehand, you just tell them what it is that you need to achieve and 99% of the time your leader will get on board because we like really clear direction too. Um So when it comes to demanding it, the two phrases that come up the most for me and I probably misquoted them, no doubt. But these are how I phrase them when I, when I'm talking to people, whether it's people on my team or mentees is that you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And if you don't ask, you don't get it.

And it's as simple as that if you decide that you're not ready for that promotion or you don't deserve it or somebody else should get it because you can't, you can't pitch for your worth, then they'll get it because you've taken yourself out of the running. You have 100% chance of failure. If you do that and put yourself in the ring, throw your hat in there, give yourself the chance to succeed and you will be very surprised by the outcome what I have learned in since COVID started. So just over two years, I've taken on 23 mentee. Um I didn't think that was a lot, but apparently it is. But bear in mind, I got a lot of time back when I didn't have to commute anymore. 19 of those mentees are female of all varying ages and among all of them at some point, every single one, we've had to have a conversation about understanding and owning your worth. Um I've come up with a few little tips and tricks to help people to, to bring exercises into their day that help them to, um, make those lists or, or, um, understand their value because we tend to dismiss all of the things that we do. Um, but all of them, 100% of them needed to address this at some point. So that tells us where, you know, where the work needs to happen. Um, and that demanding it is something that we need to do more of.

So let's say, for example, you are going for either a promotion or you're going for an increase. Increases are the most interesting ones I find. Um And in many of the conversations that I've had, people have just simply not gone for them. I don't feel ready. I don't know if I've really achieved enough. Um I'm not sure that my skill set would allow me to do that. I'll apply for a job that's a sideways move instead of an up move because I'm worried that they won't see the value. Um Every single one we've had a conversation with and I think it was nine of them out of the 19 made a move of some kind and all of them got what they asked for. No exceptions, all of them got what they asked for. We had that conversation. Um So be prepared when you're asking for something to have a counter as well. So when it comes to, I've established my work, I know what it is. I know what I want to do and I know what I'm asking for and I'm going to demand it and then your, your boss, your leadership, your hr team, whichever it is turns around and says we don't have the budget for that or there isn't a role that's opening up yet. Have a counter, have something else that you will take rather than take their no as OK. So whether you're going for a promotion or an increase.

And instead of the, the full increase that you wanted, you could say, well, maybe I can have some professional development training, maybe I can have a car allowance, maybe I can have more time off but show them that you're willing to negotiate as part of those demands and not just willing to accept the first offer.

And that should be the case whether you're going for a new job or promotion or increase whatever it is that you're going for, that you're willing to get into a conversation with them because that in itself, the conversation is an established um of your worth that you're, you know, like you have confidence in what you can bring to the team and what you can um where, what, what you do that's different to everybody else in the team and why you deserve what you've been asking for.

So that's on the demand side. Now demonstrate it. So demonstrating, it is a funny one. And as a general rule, we can be very inconsistent in it. Um So we could have days where we feel really productive and by the nature of our biology, sometimes those uh those days are tend to go like waves and some days where we were especially productive in other days when we're not. And I find for the days when you're not, I have this um this example that I've asked people to do. So there's going to be days that are difficult, there's going to be days that are challenging and there's going to be days where you're just going to struggle with everything. Um, and on those days or preferably for every day, but on those days, I recommend people to get a notebook, get a, a really nice fancy notebook, something pretty preferably and a pen and keep them handy. And every day when you get up or when you go to bed, whatever time works for you write down three things that you've achieved that day.

So on the really, really difficult days, those three things may very well be I made a really cracking cup of coffee or I made my bed um or I ironed my shirt, they could be very simple. And on some of the best days, it could be that I stood up for myself or I was heard in a meeting or, you know, the, the the variety of the things that are achievements in a day can be very, very different. But when you take time to do that every single day and look back on it and you'll see your own growth and see your own values start to peak out through those pages. And it's really important to have that record of how you went through those feelings and had those raises. It wasn't all lows because we tend to focus a lot on the lows. So when it comes to getting involved in the demonstration side of things. I also have a project that I suggest when people want to make a change and they don't know, where am I going to make a change? How am I going to be better and do better and, and you know, get, get involved in more things or achieve more things. How do I do that? And I call it the Yes project, right. I need to come up with way more witty names for these things.

I did it myself. I wanted to get involved in women in tech things as I put it. Um, I didn't know how to get started. I was commuting two hours each way to work four days a week and I have four boys at home and there wasn't that many hours left in the day. So I couldn't figure out how to do it. And I just decided one day that right, if anybody asks me, I'm not going to reach out. But if anybody asks me to get involved in anything remotely women in tech, I'm going to say yes, whatever it is, I'll figure it out. I'll make it work, but I'm going to say yes to it. And I did that and I did that to every single opportunity that came up which were teeny tiny ones in the beginning, whether it was just helping somebody fill out, um, you know, update a resume or something like that or asking for advice on the career that I'm in um but nine months later, I was speaking on the convention center stage in Dublin, which is our, our, I guess our biggest venue in Dublin City Center in front of 1200 people at a women in tech event.

So lean into the project. Think about what it is, what part of your life you need to change. And I've had people do this for their personal life increase in their social circle or do it on their, in their professional life when they want to go for a promotion. And if it's for something in work, um what you do is literally lean into everywhere that there's an opportunity. So maybe somebody needs to present uh for your team volunteer to do it. Maybe they want somebody to start a new initiative, volunteer to do it. It doesn't always have to mean taking on more work. There's, there's ways of, and I haven't got all the time today to explain. There's ways of making all that work within the work hours that you have, but lean into the thing that you need to change. And especially if it scares you, then absolutely 100 and 50% do that one, then if it's the one thing that makes you terrified, which public speaking used to be for me, um lean into it, lean into it even harder. And then when you do things like that, what happens is when you come for your increase or come for your role change, you'll be in a position where, uh, when you make your, your demand or demonstrate your worth, there will be no question that you deserve to get it.

None whatsoever. Leave your boss going. Uh 00, yeah. Actually because there is no reason to deny it then in exceeded this one is going to be pretty short. That's why I've left it to the last two minutes. But the reason I say this is short is because women in their nature bring more than 100% to the workplace. We've all done it. Um, when, when we work, we've always felt the need, especially in, in, in a desk based job or something like tech, we've always felt the need to prove ourselves, um, especially in a primarily male based industry. Um, and we never just bring 100% to the workplace. We bring 100 and 20 we bring 100 and 50 we show people that, yeah, I'm deserving of this position that I'm in and I'm deserving of everything that I need beyond this. So exceed. It is kind of like a, a trick. So it's just keep doing what you're doing. I can be absolutely sure you're already exceeding expectations. It's just time for you now to understand that that's what you're doing and time for you to see that, that, that you're worth way more than you already think that you are.

So it's super quick fire. Um, after this, then I'm just going to pop up my socials. If anybody wants to connect, if you have any questions and you want to throw them into the Q and A, um we can do that or I think there's a few there in the chat, but otherwise I will be here, I'm here all day and checking out all the chats and the, the, the speakers myself and then I'm on linkedin, if anybody wants to talk about anything that's more specific or personal.

So then then maybe I don't want to do that here, but it has been lovely to see you and I hope you're enjoying all the talks and you'll catch some more of them then later on. Oh, there's so much in the chat. Well, good. I'm glad you're interacting and you enjoyed it. I was trying to watch it while doing the presentation. Um Yeah, I see the replay option. I heard that some of these are going to be recorded and put on to. Well, this is recorded. It will be on the youtube channel, I believe. Um later that's on the reception page. We see some information about that. Um So I'll be waiting to catch these on youtube and then no doubt, share my um recording on linkedin then after that. Yeah. Thanks a million for your time. I've really enjoyed it. Enjoy the rest of the day and take care