Ok, so hello everyone. I am Valera Wilson. I am a global speaker author of the book. You're absolutely worth it.Um I've had the pleasure of for almost 20 years uh working with Fortune 100 200 global brands, lead marketing strategy, driving millions of revenue and launching products that today are used around the world. Um But you know, it's so interesting because I can remember the time when I was so, so completely full of self doubt and did not have confidence at all. I spent a lot of time really being worried about what uh people might have thought and I can still remember the first time. Um I had a job offer. It was, I was right out of college. I actually was interned for a couple of years with through Inroads and I interned with Nissan North America. I interned in their marketing department and did regional promotions at TV commercials. And so I was excited that after I was graduating, they were gonna make me an offer.

But that excitement quickly turned to disappointment because of the fact that they weren't offering me a job in marketing. They were actually offering me a job in customer care and no shade to customer care. But I just knew that that wasn't what I wanted to do. I had my undergrad degree in marketing and the problem with that is that I, as opposed to going back to them and sharing with them, my, my interest, I thought about a couple of things. One of those things was look where you come from Valera. Do you have a right to go back and ask for anything? Because in my mind, all I could see was that I was the daughter of a single teenage mother, the first person in my family to graduate from college. And so nothing in my background said to me that I should be confident. In fact, my family was just excited about the fact that I was graduating. And then not to mention the fact that I had a job with a global company. And then the other part of that is that I thought, well, if I ask, will I seem ungrateful, will I seem greedy? Will I appear selfish? And so I let all of those things cause me not to ask for what I really wanted. And you might say that's fine, Blair because so many people do that when they are fresh out of college, they don't know, they don't have enough experience, enough skills to, to know their value or their worth or not to operate it in doubt.

But I would agree with you if it did consistently happen. And so throughout my career, time and time again, I allow self doubt to cause me to shrink and not ask for what I really wanted. And it wasn't until I got frustrated with myself and angry at the fact that I was short changing myself, both literally and figuratively that I really began to do the work to challenge myself to one on the value that I brought to ask for what I wanted. And that is when I begin to see advancement happen and change happened in my career. See sometimes I think that we believe that because of where we've come from or because of what society may have said about us as women or what we, what we, what have believed growing up about ourselves or the unfortunate experiences that we've, we've been through that we can't possibly show up with confidence and on our worth and that somehow or some way that instead we should just be grateful for what we're offered.

And we dare not ask because sometimes we doubt that we're even worse, the thing that we really, really want. And so I'll ask you, have you ever allowed self doubt to keep you from going after or asking for something that you really wanted in your career or in your personal life? If you have, I want you to just drop a yes in the chat and I'm gonna raise both of my hands because I just showed you my shoulder, my arms. I've absolutely done it. So am I alone in that? I'm seeing chats and people drop them. Yes. And that's the truth is, is that we've all done it at some point in time. But the great news is that we don't have to stay there, but it does require us to see how change, how we see ourselves and how we see our situations. And I wrote a book on that, that I just mentioned earlier and I've done keynotes around the world on this topic. And so for the next few minutes, I want to share with you some key ways that you can shift from self doubt to confidence even in those moments when you question your worth and your value. Ok?

So I'm gonna ask you some questions and I want you for the next 15 minutes to pretend like you're at your favorite event, pre-covid whether it be Saturday brunch church, a sporting event where someone asks you a question and you ask and you're given an answer. So I'm gonna ask you things and I want you to think about it and just drop a note. Ok? So the first key to shifting from self doubt is to get to the root of yourself down. And that might sound really simple. But what I find oftentimes we may say things like, well, I'm afraid of negotiating my salary or asking for different speaker fees. I think I just saw once I put that in the comment or I get so nervous in interviews. But the real question that you have to ask yourself is why do you struggle with self doubt in that area? Because until you can address the, why it's hard to shift into confidence. And I believe this so much that is the first chapter in my book. And before I could put a name to this, I I I've been around so many different women and I thought it was me based on my, my background that it was just me that struggle itself down until I started to get around so many women. They were female founders, they were recent college graduates. They were uh senior leaders in companies that looked like me, didn't look anything like me. And there was this common thread, this common what I call swirl of internal doubt.

And it was always around this question of, am I enough? And so I ST I, I avoided the topic of talking about the root of self doubt because so it's so easy in, in our, our careers and our lives to talk about, for example, productivity efficiencies, not cute to talk about confidence or lack thereof. It wasn't until I started to, to do the research. And I, I call them now in the book, I call them our she influencers and they're what either propels us forward or keeps us hindered or keeps us back in our lives and our careers and the she stands for what we saw, what we heard and what we experienced those things hands down will determine your level of doubt or confidence.

And I remember a woman that I, I, I've coached and mentored a lot of women and I had one woman in particular, I was coaching and mentoring and she struggled with interviews and she was always nervous. And I asked her if I said, I said, why do you think that is? And she says, you know, Valera, honestly, after a few sessions, she says, I, I really think it's because growing up, my mother always made me feel like asking for things or having money or being successful was a bad thing. She made it sound like you couldn't have nice things and be a good person. And I, when she said it, I got it because my root was something different, but it impacted how I showed up in the workplace. And so yours might be different. It, it may not be traumatic or it just might be that thing that you've never told anyone. But the question that you have to ask yourself is what is your root that is gonna be key to moving into self doubt. And the way that you can do that is by making a shift. And I call them the y exercises in my book and I call them, you go through a couple of things. You say, why do I believe or feel this? Why do I believe or feel this?

Is this a real problem or is this fear talking? I call fears if you ever heard of false evidence appearing real or have my fears been verified by fact? Have I gone through some things to make, to let me know this is not just false, but it's a real fact and it's a problem and even in that situation, what are some bite size steps that I can take to address this thing, maybe it's take so it takes the overwhelming problem or doubt and breaks it into many steps that you can take to move into confidence.

Now, question for you, have you ever been in a situation where you started to question whether or not you were good enough for the role or maybe you were questioned whether or not you could move forward and, and, and be confident in what you were doing on a day to day basis who's ever been in a role?

And they've, they said, I don't know if I'm qualified to be here. I don't know if I'm good enough or worse. You've questioned. You've, you, you've wondered if other people thought if you're good enough for me to be in the role. Drop a note in the chat if you ever felt that. Yes, someone says yes. Currently doing a job hunt during that job hunt hunting process. Yes. Review. Yes, I love what you just said, I believe it's Janine and it's so right. The chances are, is that sometimes in our pursuit of what's next, we forget all the amazing things that we've done to get to where we are. And in the process of that, we somehow convince ourselves that we're not qualified or capable to be there and worse, we allow other people to discount our, our skill sets or our, our value. And so when you find yourself in a situation where you're discounting what you your your enoughness as I call it, I want you to do this for me. I want you to take inventory of all you've done to get where you are. I call this in my book, I call it taking a trip down memory lane and it's exactly that it's a mental trip down memory lane to think about all the things that you've done to get to where you are.

I mean, I want you to think about uh how long you studied to get, uh to get finished with school. Think about all the hours that you put in, all the tears, the exhaustion, the money that you invested to finish that degree or that certification or maybe you moved around multiple times to, to take advancements and opportunities. Maybe you took leaps of faith. But guess what?

You got to that role or you got to, you finish that degree. Maybe you were a mom balancing being a mom and going back to school or going back to school and finishing that second degree or getting that second, uh, certification, whatever that is, write it all down the point of doing all of that is that it should be overwhelming to you to think.

Oh, my gosh, I've done ABC all the way to Z. And by the time that you get done you start to see these things have equity, add it all up. It has equity, meaning it has value means that what you are doing today and who you are today has worth and it starts to help you shift from, I don't know if I'm qualified to, why wouldn't I be qualified to do this thing? Even if you're pivoting to something new, everything that you've done up to get to the, to the point where you can even pivot to do something new. It has weight, it has value in order for you to make that shift. I want you to do an audit of all your skills. Keep a running list. Time money spent here in your field, education wins. Everything that you can think of that. So I think I saw someone posted, they said they have to pull up their resume to start reminding themselves. Absolutely. I want you to bring that brag book out every time you start to question. Are you qualified to be in your seat? Because the answer is yes, you are. Even if you're moving into something new, it all has equity, say that for me and drop that in the comments, say equity, right?

And then place it where you can easily see it, whether it be Google Docs, your bathroom mirror, wherever it is, it has equity and it's today's housing market. I think maybe we all are very familiar with that word equity. A lot of people are selling their homes right now. Why? Because their homes have equity, the value has gone up. Your value continues to go up every time you do a different, you take a different step and a new, and a new take on a new career path, a new role, everything has equity, do not discount your equity. And I think I saw someone say it's common for women to reduce the value. Yes, giving value in weight is so critical. Don't discount it. Not in your um, your performance reviews don't discount in your, in your interviews. Don't discount. These are not the times for you to discount your value. Ok. Now who's ever said? Well, I don't know if I should be bragging. I feel it's, it's so hard for me to brag about what I do. I hate talking about myself and all the stuff that I'm doing. I don't want to feel like I'm over sharing or you're just nervous or hesitant to talk about you and what you're doing.

Maybe in the workplace who's ever felt like that you struggle with feeling like you're bragging or I don't want to brag drop a yes if you've ever done that because I definitely have. You just, it's hard for, I don't like to talk about myself. Yes. Well, if you find yourself struggling with that, I want you to own the problem you're there to solve in any room you walk in. I want you to own the problem that you're there to solve. And that involves rethinking. The term bragging. Bragging is not cocky. It's not forgetting about other people because as women, we've been taught to think about every body else, see the value in everyone else talk about their greatness, but shy away from showing our greatness in short, we dim our light, but we're great at promoting everyone else.

And in the process, we hurt ourselves. And the reason for that is because bragging is not all about talking about you. Here's what bragging really is. It's about communicating the value that you bring to a situation or a problem or a company on a consistent basis so that they can see your value. Why is that important? Because no one knows all that you do and the value that you bring until you communicate all that you do and the value that you bring. I will say that again, no one knows all the value you bring and all that you do until you and I communicate, the value that we bring and all that we do. That is so important. When it's hard for you to talk about, you own the problem that you're there to solve. Let's think about it this way. When you go on a job interview or when, when you think about a job posting, that job posting is a problem. It's another, it's a job, it means there is a problem. And when they've hired you, that means that you are the solution to that problem. That's what that means.

Tide doesn't or, or game detergent doesn't say I'm bragging because I'm telling you how great of a solution I am. It's like, no, I saw dirty clothes. That's, that's what it does and it communicates that to you consistently every time you walk past the shelf and you see that on the shelf at the store, it's the same way. It's a very funny or basic example, but it's the same way with you and I solve the problem. Rec see yourself as this and say to yourself this, I am the solution to this problem that I was hired for. And so any time you walk into a room, you want to make it clear that you are there to solve that problem. OK. Reframe it, Nicole reframe it, Carolina reframe it to say I am the solution to the problem. And I want you to know that I'm here to solve it. Someone's asking about the book. I'll share that in just a second. But yes, that is how you look at it. And you make the shift is reminding people of the problems you're there to solve and why it's important to them, speaking their language. You do that by communicating, for example, is what's the business metrics that you're there for?

What do they value and you talk in their language but remind them of the problem consistently and ask for help and, and ask questions sooner than later. This is a big one because sometimes we feel like we have to know everything in order to think we're a solution to the problem. No, you don't just like we know how to drive a car for example, but we still need GPS because we don't know how to get everywhere. But you do know how to drive same way in your, in your career and whatever you're pursuing, you know what you know now, but you don't have to know everything in order to be confident in what you do know today. So ask questions and uh ask for help sooner than later so that you can on where you are and then get the help so that you can accelerate your learning curve. So that because there's a couple of things competence and confidence, they go hand in hand often. So the faster that you can learn, the faster you can ask for help and abandon a superwoman's cape, the faster you are to moving into becoming a bigger problem solver. So that means when you step into a new role.

When you step into a new company, ask for help and ask questions sooner than later. You do not have to be perfect in order to be confident, but you do have to know what you don't know and go ask for help so that you can accelerate your learning curve, accelerate your confidence and accelerate your competence, drop a note if that makes sense to you. OK. So what I will ask you today is this what requires you right now to shift from self doubt to confidence so that you can own your Yes today. Think about that and if you'd like to connect with me, feel free to do so, someone's asked about the book, uh you're absolutely worth. It's available on Amazon or Barnes and Noble or feel free. I do speaker ships globally. I'm a global speaker. Feel free to reach out to me if you have company events or er GS that you're a part of that, you would like to have a uh someone that talks about workplace confidence um for women and you can follow me on Twitter and linkedin. Thank you so much for the time and I appreciate the opportunity to speak with you.