Um everybody, thank you for, for joining me and welcome to the Well, uh Women's Tight Global Conference 2021. I am Marina Hale and I am happy to be here with you today.Uh We're gonna talk about simple secrets to amplifying your joy, your confidence and meaning in our lives. Because why not? What is the point after? All right, of being here if we're not doing things that are meaningful for our lives? And um the thing is a lot of times we get very much caught up and the rat race or whatever society kind of uh defines for us to um to do and therefore we get, uh we sometimes lose our way. So that's what I want to share with you today. How do we find our way when it feels like we've actually um uh have gone off track. Wait a second. Do you know what? All right. So I'm just checking to make sure that I'm actually sharing the right um the right presentation. OK. So, um that's what I want to talk to you about 1st. 1st. I wanna um start you with um with a little bit of a story, right? And um this particular slide, uh reminds me so much of a time where when I was in a space where I was feeling very lost, uh, and feeling like, um, where did I take the wrong turn?

You know, and I want to invite you to a time perhaps in your life where you feel like, you know what I have, there was something that I, I chased that I wanted so much could be, uh something in your job, your career could be a relationship, something that is meaningful to you.

And somewhere along the way you got so thick and, and, and the chasing aspect of it that eventually, uh you discovered that it was actually making you quite miserable. You're feeling lost and you can figure it out. And, um, and this particular photo I remember I was in Central Park in New York City. My company at the time had sent me on a business trip and, um, they nicely put me in a very nice apartment in midtown Manhattan with all the life and all of these things going on. And I hadn't come up for air, working with teams internationally. So crazy hours as I'm sure you can relate. And, um, that one evening I popped out and I'm like, let me just at least go to the park was in walking distance, uh, picked up coffee, picked up fruit tart, but, and I was just so literally lost. I'm like, why is it something that looks so good on paper? You know, my CV was strong and had all of these things going on, but something wasn't feeling right and it felt like my life was completely out of control. So I think you could relate to, to a situation somewhere along the way where nevertheless, so as the sort of one, I want to take you back to a time perhaps where you felt this way uh in whatever area of your life and uh be.

But the good thing is, listen, as lost as I was at the time, I want to tell you that there's a happy ending to it um through that muck and mess, I actually was able to find my way back into something that, that um doing work that I love and really empowering people that are in that situation.

But let me tell you a little bit about myself before I actually get into um telling you what the strategies are and working through, basically the process that I kind of want to walk you through it today. Uh OK, so my journey, right? So this is me my first job um as a software engineer, fresh out of university, I was hired by Motorola uh down in South Florida. I am from Miami. And uh it was amazing. It was a huge plant. We had a great, a lot of opportunity for me to climb the career ladder. I was, I worked in product engineering and therefore there was a lot of opportunities. So I did quality assurance one project and the project I was doing technical project managing. And that some of the time I came back to software engineering, uh participated in women's business councils, all kinds of things in an effort to, to develop and to grow and basically just following the script, you know what my family and society kind of teaches us to do. But along the way, 16 years on, you know, I just got, I found myself in Central Park, you know, that thought of holy crap, something major needs to change in my life because I just wasn't happy. This is not what I had signed up for maybe 16 years ago.

And um that was half, you know, the battle because the awareness is one thing but then to actually take the action, uh it took me several years to actually come to grips with the fact that I can't really do this just by myself. But I tried, I mean, as an engineer, I think I really tried, I got really deep into personal development, the whole thing. And um yeah, it wasn't easy but, but I finally found uh uh a way to kind of figure out what it is that I want. And that's sort of what I want to walk you through. Let me just have a look at the, the chat to make sure we're together are we together guys. Can you see me? You hear me? Thumbs up? Brilliant. OK, guys, thank you so much. All right. So I'm gonna carry on then. Um So then, yeah, so, so that is the story. So I think a lot of us here obviously in this conference, we are women in technology. Um And we're trying to figure it out, sort it out. We are actually an industry where really our gender tends to have us under sort of a kind of indictment and we always have to be proving ourselves and our abilities and capacity to do the work. Uh no matter how amazing we might be. So I think there was also that added pressure of that um of just really making sure that I proved myself as well. I think somewhere in the subconscious mind, definitely there was a play in that as well.

So, um so what do I want to do with you guys today? Is this is not, this is what basically is not working, right? The whole thing, which is what I did, which I think a lot of us gonna test to is, you know, you start something you're working hard at it, you focus and you're grateful you're passionate and you're told to stick to it, right? Just stick to it, but partly good and partly bad that, that philosophy because we know that in high-performance coaching, which is what I do now is we've learned that what leads to initial success is not sufficient for long term success, right? And that is the reason for why we end up spinning in circles trying to, you know, trying to continue to do things that no longer make us happy and you're 16 years into a career and you're like, holy crap. Like, what, where did I go wrong? Right. So that is what I hope for um to, to, to give you some, some tools and some strategies that's gonna enable you wherever you are in your life right now to actually just sit down and examine. Does this make sense for me? You know, whatever it is, relationship, uh finances, your health, your obviously career is what we're talking about today. But this, what I'm about to introduce you to is gonna work across the board. Um Right. OK. So let's have a look.

Um So what I want to do is, uh, right. Clarity is everything when it comes to making sure you stay on track and you stay satisfied and happy with the choices that you have made in life. So I'm gonna have to, uh, if you see the notes, I don't know what to say, but um clarity is everything and I really want us to be interactive. So I'm gonna have to reference uh my notes at the moment to just make sure that I'm actually giving you everything that, um, that you need and carry you through. Um, the exercise altogether. So what I would like for you to do right now is take out a piece of paper and a pen or maybe you could just put these things on your mobile notes, um, application and just pick something right now in whatever area in your life and just ask yourself, what do I really want with this particular thing that I'm that I'm seeking, whether it's a promotion, whether it's a better relationship with your partner, whether it is financial stability?

Like what is it that I really want right now? So I'll just give you 20 seconds or so to kind of think about it and write that down somewhere. OK. Let's assume that was 20 seconds. Now, the second question to that is um around this particular desire that you actually wrote, where do you see yourself six months from now? Right? And what is the outcome that you're anticipating? Right. So it's a process, you identified something that you want and you're saying that looking back, right? Because a lot of times we can reverse engineer things. This is where I want to be 16 months down the line, a year down the line. So think about like where do I see myself with this particular goal? Bye. OK. So let's assume that you've actually picked something that's relevant and important to you. Um And uh you know, six months down the line, this is where you wanna be and you can start reverse engineering it. But I am willing to bet you probably had a hard time deciding what is it that you want, what is important to me after all. Right. So the fact that we cannot articulate a lot of times what is important to us straight away that in and of itself is a little bit of a sign of um obviously lack of clarity and a little bit of a loss, right? What is your objective?

Why are you doing what you're doing? And that's definitely a very important aspect of like a self possessed person who has goals and dreams and know where they want to go. So, decisions fundamentally or lack thereof are an ability to actually make a decision because uh if you name it, fear of judgment of what if I'm wrong and all of these things that happen kind of uh are the reasons for why they kind of we, we stagnate and we spend in circles, we never really make the moves that we want to make in life fast forward, how many years later?

And you're like, oh my God, what have I done? Right? So that is what I don't want for you. I want, I would love, you know, and I invite you to openly just say, you know, I'm just gonna make a decision on this, I'm gonna pick this one thing and I'm gonna go for it for the next six months, you know. So what like, you know, everything is subject to change and you can always go back and change, change it, you know, tweak it, whatever it is that you need to do or change your mind altogether, it's giving yourself permission to actually do that. So essentially what I want you to think about around, if you're still struggling with making a decision, I want you to think about these three things and you might want to write them down and that is what am I going to focus on in the coming months around this particular goal?

You know, and what does it mean to me? Right? Very important aspect of it because we talked about, right, the title of our presentation part, one of the very important thing besides drawing confidence is meaning, what's the purpose? What am I doing? And then so what am I going to do so that I can actually pursue? That's the third question. What am I going to focus on? What does this mean and what am I going to do? Right. So now let's say so we've gotten clarity on what we want, where we see ourselves six months down the line, we can reverse engineer it and we excited, I'm gonna make a move on this and I know I'm going rather fast. Um But definitely, I hope that either you, this recording will be available for you or you're taking fast notes that you can actually go back and work through this again with a little bit more time and reflection. It's very important. OK? So now we've made a decision, but if you're still struggling on making a decision, I, I wanna take you through an exercise that I love. And it's because if we're not emotionally connected to what it is that we want, guaranteed, we're either not gonna go all in for it or we're gonna allow ourselves to kind of get lost in the muck and really kind, you know, find ourselves years down the line saying why is something that I thought would make me so happy would fulfill me is the very thing that is actually making me absolutely miserable, right?

So I wanna take you through a process and you might, you know, you might get choked up, but that's all right. I trust that you are in your own privacy and that's ok too to actually get choked up about something that is so important to assess worth our time and, and pursuit. So the first level in this exercise, um is seven levels and it's keep peeling the layer, just keep peeling the layer. I think it's maybe about the fifth or sixth level where you're finally gonna say, oh my God, this is the real reason for why you big lie. So you wanna ask yourself what is important to me about becoming successful around this particular goal, right? And then the next question is why is that important to me? Level one? Why is level one important to me. Again, he goes to level three and say, why is level two important to me? Same thing in four. Level four asks, why is level three important to me? Level five asks why is level four important to me again? Just keep peeling the layers until you get to the emotional aspect of why you know, is it, is it your child? Is it your your dream or is it your grandma who passed on that one? Great things for you?

Is it, do you feel like there is a reason for your life here? Bigger than yourself? It could be any number of things, right? So level six says specifically, why is it important to you? Because now you're really getting wrong, you really get into the meat and potato of why these things are important to you. And the level says seven says, well, why is level six important to me? So by this point, you should have something super emotional connected to this pursuit.

And if you're not feeling this real visceral desire for this particular thing that you've chosen to pursue, maybe you, you might say hmm maybe it's not that important to me, right? So like a few minutes exercise to see if you, you know, you know, the pain of kind of pursuing something that doesn't really matter to you or really going all in on something that is important to you. The last part that I wanna share with you. And this is one of my favorite things, which is something that I really, I, I share with my, one of my favorite sessions in high performance and certified high performance coaching, which is what I do now is about identifying, what are you clear on? It's the first session, that's what we talk about. What did you want to do? And it's about forming habits and deconstructing old habits that actually have, would keep, keep us in this rut of sorts. So I would like for you just to take a couple of deep breaths and think about three words that might describe your ideal self, right? So these are the words that would describe the best of who you could be or who you are. And when you get those three words, ask why those words are important to you, right? Again, write this stuff down and say, why are these important words important to me? And here's where the habit part comes into play.

You want to set an alarm every morning that goes off every morning on your mobile phone with the labels of these three words that has a label of these three words. And every time it goes off every single morning, don't dismiss it. Like, like we do with everything else, like everything like really connect with it and what this enables you to do is to be intentional. So you, so in so many different angles here, I've demonstrated for you which you can continue to connect that, which you're pursuing and in doing that, you can ask yourself, is this really what I want? Because if it's not, then you could abandon ship and go to something else and you have every right to do that. And, um, that kind of wraps up our part of, you know, the strategies of identifying what you want, you know, setting a goal for X months down the line, getting emotionally connected to it, making a decision and then creating a habit that's gonna support you. And so I want to take you back, wrap up my session today, taking you back to that turning point.

Um For me, like I said, fast forward many years after that day in the park in Central Park, I finally said that something has to change and all the, all the going at it myself didn't, didn't really turn out well. So I started to get coached in this and what I'm doing right now, which is certified high performance coaching. And I found a way to uh to live a purposeful life serving, you know, uh people exactly like you guys, like there was a million and one of the people that I knew in my world in the tech field that basically um were suffering in the same way. So that's my wish for you is like to actually live a life that means that is important to you to know that you have the power to essentially figure it out and, and, and have help to figure it out. You don't have to take the burden on your own and there are processes and systems and what I do is absolutely, it's process, it stated. So my engineering mind loves it. It's scientifically research and it's absolutely brilliant. So, before I go here is my contact information, if you have any questions or anything like that, since we don't have any time left to, to go any back and forth.

But uh I would love for you to contact me, right if you have any questions, um I'll, I'll get in touch with you and follow me on Instagram or um where I, where I share all kinds of things. So thank you so much for um taking your time to share um this women's and co uh women's Day conference 2021 with me. And I hope to see you guys in different activities. Take care.