So welcome to transforming your internal narrative um from burnt out to bliss. Everybody can see my screen, I'm assuming. And um my name is Kelly Mirat. I am the CEO and owner of um You Loud and clear.com.And um I've, I've been coaching, I've had my own practice for 12.5 years. I've been coaching my entire life, I would think, but I didn't really have the vocabulary, the structure until 12.5 years ago. Um There I am featured as a member of the Forbes Coaches Council. There are some other fun things that I've done. Um Really, I invite you to consider looking at my linkedin profile. It'll give you more com of a complete um picture of who I am. Ok. So let's get started. So we are in an epidemic people. No, I'm not talking about the pandemic. I'm talking about the next wave of the epidemic which I've actually been sounding the alarms on for almost 12 months and it's burnout. Um In 2019, the World Health Organization finally included burnout in its international classification of diseases, describing it as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. Um indeed.com just recently conducted a survey in January that discovered burnout is on the rise.

Over half or 52% of survey respondents are experiencing burnout up from 43% who said the same and indeed pre COVID-19 survey, 53% of millennials were already burned out pre panic and they remain the most affected population with 59% experiencing it today. However, Gen Z is now neck and neck as a 58% report as 58% report burnout up from 47% who said the same thing in 2020. So as the data shows, burnout has affected and is affecting many people. If left unchecked, it will get to the point where people will want to take their own lives due to the grief over losing their pre panem lives, losing family members, losing contact with friends, unsustainable workload, perceived lack of control. So it's fair to say burnout takes over your life and it often masquerades or is misunderstood as anxiety, depression or chronic fatigue. So it's kind of a shape shifter in that way, but basically burnout puts you in a horrible headspace, right? So take a look at these seven signs of burnout. How many of these apply to you and just go to the chat if you feel like you know, answering. Yeah, you're exactly right, Simone. Um This is an organizational issue. It's not. Yeah. At least I I hear you sister at least six y all of these. I mean, I, I, you all don't know me except for, you know, signing into this chat, but I can tell you that I only coach from a place. I understand. Right. Well, I understand. Burnout.

I, I understand it because I've had it. I've had all of these things. Right. It's almost like the way I describe it in my life is it, it feels like if any of you have seen the movie Pleasantville before it goes color, it's black and white, right? It's that black and white. Turning down the color in life. Nothing like things don't taste as good. It's not as fun, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So OK, so if you've said you have at least three of these things, you know, it, it's fair to say you're be in burnout and let's be honest, burnout just sucks. It's just awful. It's an awful feeling, but here's the secret. It's not your job, it's not your environment, it's not your family, it's your brain and which extends the stress cycle by stopping its natural course. OK. So over time, the stress in your body gets built up, right? It's almost like um AAA piling up of garbage if you think about it in your system because our brain is in survival mode when we're in um the burnout state, we, our Amygdala is triggered, which triggers our pre frontal cortex, which basically says to cortisol and adrenaline, mayday, mayday going down, take care of our body and the brain complies because it feels like there's a perceived threat.

Ok. So burnout is the accumulation of stress over a long period of time. And remember the the who basically said it's it's unmonitored, unchecked, un taking care of stress. So for me, more specifically, burnout equals emotional constipation. It feels like a build up of energy in my body.

Ok. So stress is necessary for all living things. There are two types of stress you stress, which is the good kind of stress. It's the kind of stress that drives you to finish your project. Get to the deadline, you know, make sure you're on time on budget. It's that exciting stress, right? Distress is the stress we're talking about. And if the distress is not dealt with properly in the short term, it leads to burnout. So there's many ways to deal with it. In fact, I had a client who called me one day and said that she was so exhausted. She was beyond the point of exhaustion. It was so bad that basically um anytime she laid down in bed, she, it felt like an emotional charge, like an electrical charge running through her be her body. Have you ever felt that where you're kind of twitchy? You're so tired, but you're just, you can't get still. And she said, you know, Kelly, I feel like I need a Xanax, a bottle of wine and a bath to go to bed every night. Well, that's not a great coping mechanism. Right. We don't wanna lash out at others. We don't wanna self medicate. We don't wanna isolate because when we're alone with our thoughts that just exacerbates this, this situation. Right. And it tamps down and, and reinforces and roots in our system, that emotional constipation. Right. We certainly don't want to procrastinate over it. So great, right?

So you're thinking to yourself, this is gonna take work, right? Well, yes, it is gonna take some work. But here's what I can tell you. It's the most fulfilling work that you will do in your life because it's on you and anytime you work on yourself, it returns dividends. So fear not, it can be, it can be healed and you can get there with a little bit of work and a little bit of intention and compassion and empathy towards yourself. All right. So the right way to deal with it is move that energy of stuck emotion. So think about the word emotion, it's e motion or energy in motion, right? That's what emotions are. They're not logical, they're not tactical. You can't deal with them, you know, with a checklist, you really, really need to pay attention and, and figure out what your triggers are because burnout is just shape shapeshifter. It can be suffocating, it can infiltrate all aspects of your life. Ok? I call that the burnout spiral effect. So it's almost like a thought and emotion tornado, right?

And as that tornado spins up and spins up and spins up, you've got that little voice of your inner critics saying things that amplify and deeply root and reinforce situation, which makes them 10 times worse. It's that little voice inside of your head that says you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not qualified enough. You don't have enough certifications. You're under too much pressure, you'll never get anything done. You should just give up no one, no one notices your work. Anyway.

Can anyone relate to these things? Can anyone relate to, you know any of those voices of the inner critic? Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep, me too. You know, and I, I, I'm, I'm, I hate these are not clubs that I want you to be part of humans like this y'all. This is not a fun club to be part of, but here's the good thing. I know how to fix it cause I fixed it myself and I can definitely share that with all of you. OK. So let's keep moving. I wish I had more than 20 minutes with you, but we're under time constraints. So I wanna make sure I get you all the rich juicy stuff. OK. Here we go. So you know the inner critic um as one of you were saying, it makes you feel flat, right? Imagine your inner critic is like ST um if you think of the children's book Flat Stanley, it's like your inner critic is that little child, that wild child on top of you that's stamping and having a tantrum on Flat Stanley. It's that burnout spiral effect, right? It's a never ending cycle. So basically, what we're trying to do is break the cycle, the voice only reinforces your burnout and stress makes it worse. And from that rooted system, that reinforced system and thought pattern, it creates a pattern of negative thinking.

So, you know, it's, it's almost like um you're just one step forward, two steps back, right? So that's what we wanna look at. The little voice inside your head is your ego. So your ego is there to protect you from danger, to keep you safe, to keep you small, to keep you complicit, to keep you comfortable, right? So here's what I want you to do when you start to feel triggered by your ego and you'll notice all right, that your ego will say things like I want, I need you should, you shouldn't blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's that negative voice inside your head. OK. I've given mine a name. Don't ask me where this came from. If anybody's name is Stella, I'm sorry. But that's my an critic's name. Give it a name, right? It takes its power away because the ego likes to live in dark sneaky places, right? And when you shine a light on it, you kill the ego. Ok? So don't allow the ego's lives to brainwash you. It's a sneaky, sneaky shapeshifting presence that literally feeds off of and grows and makes you feel worse. It loves when you feel terrible because guess what, when you feel terrible, you're stuck in that emotional constipated state, right? Ego loves that. Ok?

So bring into your awareness, mark it in your body. Let's use your physical body and your emotions as a guidance system. Ok? So when you're triggered by your ego, and again, your ego shouts your wisdom whisper. So if that voice is yelling inside your head, most likely it's your ego. Pay attention to the emotions and physical sensations that arise within your being when triggered by your ego. And don't allow your lie, your ego's lies to brainwash you. Like I said, it's a sneaky shapeshifting presence that feeds off making you feel worse. Your ego is a small part of you. It does not define who you are now for this context. So all of us are operating from the same definition. Your ego is simply the thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and distinctions that manifest from the wounded part of you. The scared part of you, the um little child inside of you that was hurt by something that you haven't taken care of or paid attention with. Well, let's take your power back. How do you do that? It's all about moving the negative energy out of your being and replacing it with positive energy, turning and transforming the burned out energy, that emotional constipation into blissful energy. OK. To do this, we need to start with your mind, mind projects on body. You need to transform your internal narrative by reframing questioning and um meeting face to face all your negative thoughts. OK. So how do we stop the inner critics voice? How do we transform?

We do it by using the body to access the mind. So here are a couple of tactical things that you can do. It's a good laugh, right? A good laugh. Really, really help. Um It's, it's not that laugh where maybe your spouse makes a bad joke and you're like good one, honey. No, for me, it's I snort through my nose, right? I cry. I probably double over in pain like because I'm, I'm my sides are hurting so badly from laughing a good cry. Sometimes I'll watch a movie that I know will make me cry just to end the stress cycle. Cause here's what we know about burnout. It's the stress cycle. That's what it is. And if, if you look at it from start to finish at its longest, the stress cycle is 90 seconds, right. Burnout comes when the brain interrupts the stress cycle's natural path. OK? So this is what we're doing. We're moving energy, a primal screen. Now let me tell you about the primal screen. OK? So there's two things you need to know. No. Right. Exactly. Simone. That's what I was about to say. This is how I do it. I get in my car, I turn up some really loud ratchet music, whether it's a CDC or some old school hip hop. And I scream, I scream until I feel something in me released.

Now, what I would say to you is if you live in an apartment or you can find a place where there's like a soundproof room or even, I don't know, warn your spouse because I did this the first time and I forgot to tell my husband he came running in and he was like, what is going on?

And I was like, oh, it's just primal scream. He was like, warn me next time. OK? Um Physical activity. Now, physical activity, this, this is very simple. Like you can, you can do this at your desk, right? So physical activity can be standing at your desk and clenching every muscle in your body from top to bottom, holding it until you feel your muscles start to burn a little bit. Right? Get it to the point where you can't hold it anymore and release. That's physical activity. Now, I'm an athlete. I like to work out. So a good workout is good for me, creative endeavor, creative endeavor. If you're not like creative, you're not a crafty person. Something as simple as singing in the shower, can do it Right. That's a creative endeavor. Throwing a tantrum by yourself. OK. So again, this is the, this is the primal screen part, right? So again, warn your, the people you live with, warn your loved ones. You if any of you have kids and you've seen them throw a tantrum, throw a freaking tantrum, throw it, scream, cry, stamp your feet wail. It's all about moving energy. That's what this is about, right? Because we're stuck. Burna has us stuck. We're trying to move it forward. All right. Um A 22nd hug. This is one of my favorites y'all like and I have tested these.

I have beta tested them on myself and used them with my clients who is mostly high level officers in the military and they are all burnt out and they've all used these and they all work. OK. So the 22nd hug, here's your caveat. Number one. Make sure you're in a mutually trusted consenting relationship. Got it. Second one. Make sure neither one of you have COVID. We don't wanna continue this, this pandemic longer than it needs to be. Right. OK. My husband and I do this multiple times a day cause I work from home. He doesn't, he's an essential worker. But every time he comes home, I hug him and I'm being type A I timed it and he was like, seriously you're sending your stopwatch. I said yes, I wanna figure out if I'm gonna advise people on how to do this where this happens. Well, it's not about the 20 seconds y'all. It's about hugging the person that you love. Releasing your center of gravity, right? Being vulnerable with that person. And you know, you've hit the mark when you two start inadvertently breathing together. Ok? And the research behind a 22nd hug is it's just as effective as a three mile jog. So do it. Plus listen, we're all craving human touch right now. If you can do it, hug each other. Ok. Breathe. The thing we do when we're burnt out in stress is shallow breathing, right? Ground your feet. Take a deep breath from nose to toes.

I like to give my breath a color so I can just follow it all the way down and then exhale audibly do that for a cycle of three. Good night's sleep is another one trying a relaxing activity. That could be anything from tai chi to ax throwing. It's whatever relaxes you. Ok. Do you practice these? Try them? Um Yeah, it's, it's except the, the they're there pat. You get from your not touchy partner. Ok. Simone. Find somebody who likes to, you know, hug, do that. If your partner doesn't like it. Find somebody who in with those caveats that you can hug. Ok. I'm telling you. It works really well. It's cheap. It's easy and it makes you feel really good. Ok. All right. Moving along. So we're taking our power back again, if you feel overwhelmed and burnt out. The simplest way to feel yourself fill yourself up is a deep inhale. So stop, take a breath, allow yourself to feel what you're feeling like. I like to say things like, ok, that's anger. I recognize it. I know it's temporary. It's only gonna be here for a short time. Breathe, get really still and just be with yourself that takes a minimum or a maximum of three seconds. If you wanna do it longer, you can do it longer. But these are ways you can take your power back. This is how you can go from burnt out to bliss. Um The the most effective way of course to overcome burnout is through real support.

Um And overcoming my own battle with burnout, I came up with a proven system to overcome burnout that has helped hundreds of people get back to their bliss. If you're you're interested in, in talking about that, you know, there's, there is a commonly link that you can um screenshot and book it. Here's my information, but we have about uh two more minutes and I can, I can field maybe one or two of these questions. So yes, Liz, I'm, you know what all of you, I hope you got something out of this. I really love talking to because uh probably about 80% of global population has burn out. Watch it, keep an eye on it. Um You don't have to be in this state. You can get back to your joy. And ladies and gentlemen and humans that are on this talk, learn to say no, learn to say no, no is a complete sentence. If you're overloaded, say no. Because saying no to something your boss is giving you is saying yes to yourself. Thank you. So, so so much. I really appreciate all of you. Um I, you know, please reach out to me. You don't have to suffer alone that makes it worse. I'm here to help. Um and we have a burnout group that if you reach out today, there's gonna be special pricing just for you. Um but it has to be today. So um thank you so much. I really appreciate all of you. Enjoy the rest of women tech, Global, women, Tech Global.

Thank you for inviting me. It was my true pleasure to serve and support all of you. Make it a great day.