So welcome to all of us together. We create this space together this morning or this afternoon wherever you might be. Um My name is or o'sullivan and I'm joining you from Dublin in Ireland.And I practice strengthening our ability to train ourselves to live with a sense of happiness and well being, our mind tends to be very wild and untrained. And although we're often told, pay attention, we're never told, like, how do I pay attention? Like, how do I pay attention when I'm bored or hungry or when I would prefer to be doing something else? So, um with mindfulness, what we do at the very beginning is we interrupt the momentum. So we interrupt the momentum of kind of the habits of our thoughts, the momentum of our day. So let's take a moment together to um to do that. Um Teaching mindfulness can be a little bit like, like describing the flavor of mango to someone. And um and actually you have your mango that you can try yourself. So I'm not going to describe it too much. We're just gonna taste it for ourselves. Um So we begin by um drawing your awareness back to this moment. So we know our mind is the best time traveler ever spends a lot of time in the future, quite addictively sometimes a lot of time in the past. And with this, um with this discipline, we kind of disconnect our other timelines and bring ourselves back to this moment.

And our body tends to be a good place, a good anchor to help us to stay in this moment. So allowing your awareness to simply draw back to your physical body. So maybe sensing um the chair that's underneath you or the sofa, the floor, wherever you are might be walking for a moment and just sensing your body at rest in this moment, you sense how you're being supported. And if you're sitting, you can kind of snuggle in on your seat and allow your spine to have a little vibrancy coming up your spine so that your back feels um upright, so your lungs are able to breathe really easily. We want it to be a space of kindness for ourselves. Hmm And we'll simply, we'll sink our awareness down. So we'll do a little micro mindfulness practice together before we explore the subject more. So allowing yourself to sink your awareness past your forehead. So just sensing your forehead, uh your eyes, they've already seen so many colors and shapes today. Your nose and ears and cheeks, your mouth, control your neck and throat, sensing your upper chest, you might have a sense of how it feels to be you in this moment might be a really easy moment. Uh or there might be challenges in this moment.

So simply exploring what this moment of your life is like. How does it feel to be you? Hm. And then we're gonna keep sinking. So allowing yourself to sink down to the level of your belly button and you can interlace your fingers and kind of put them over your little belly button. And um we do this to connect with our breath deeply. So that as you breathe in your fingers tend to draw a little bit farther apart. And as you exhale, they snuggle in closer. I often use this um breathing ball when I'm teaching Children. But with our in breath, we have this sense of opening and expansion. And with her eye breath is a sense of letting go and release. And on your eye breath is when your body knows that it's safe to relax. So our eye breath is a really important part of our breath, take another breath like this and then we'll keep sinking. So from your belly button, sinking down to uh wash over your hips, soaking through your legs and soaking all the way down to your right foot and your left foot and you can wiggle your toes, wiggle your toes to see, not intellectually knowing that you have toes, but so that you can feel your toes from the inside out it's a different um intelligence that we bring a different wisdom and you can rest.

So that's a little bit of micro mindfulness. Um with mindfulness practice, we um we come fully into this moment of our life and we get to look at it with some clarity and some kindness. So that tends to be the ingredients of the energy of mindfulness. Um You know, our bodies, our habits of thinking are so strong. Maggie has shared this mini practice lot. Nice. That is so lovely. I am. Yeah, my aim with mindfulness is to meet us exactly where we are so that we don't need a month's retreat in Bali. Um But that we can come back to this moment of our life just as we are. So, thank you, Mikey. Um So we're thinking any of us would think today between about 130,000 ports staggering mind into thinking and the vast majority of our thoughts are not so helpful to us. They are, you know, there, there are thoughts that um are almost like just a running commentary on this moment of our life. You know, they're not, it's not kind of problem solving thoughts, there's specific thoughts, thoughts that keep us safer and makes us happier. So there's this constant run of thoughts all the time and our body is believing every single thing that we think. So if I have a thought of anxiety, for example, that goes, what if that happens like instantly my body responds to that.

Whether it's really likely or whether it's wildly unlikely. What if aliens land tomorrow? So, um so we need to begin to become aware of what poets were habitually thinking because our body believes everything that we think. And actually with mindfulness, we learn to believe, we don't need to believe everything we think. So we learn to withdraw our belief from some of our thoughts, some of our quite toxic self sabotaging thoughts. Um When we notice that thought coming through, uh we'll go, oh, I see the thought and I don't have to believe that thought. So we can keep our bodies safer. We can protect our energy and we learn to direct our attention over to where it is what we want to grow in the long term. Um with the uh research into neuroplasticity of our brain, um We know that what, where we continually rest our attention. So where we rest our attention over and over again. Uh First it becomes familiar. So for example, resting in your toes for that little few seconds might not have been familiar. You might have gone. I have not felt the inside of my toes in years. So at first it becomes familiar and then it becomes habitual and finally, it becomes a trait and that's really what we're seeking to do with developing wholesome habits so that if I generate a feeling of calm or peace or clarity or hope or like creative innovation that actually I can learn how to bring myself back to that state, how to invite that state up over and over and over again until it feels much more natural to me.

And um and there are obstacles that we have to do that, right? So it tends to be that at any moment, one is our obstacle of dissatisfaction, you know, that actually part of our brain evolved simply to scan the moment for all the ways that it is substandard and not good enough. And part of our brain just evolved to do that. It's called our, our negativity bias. We're much more interested in what's going wrong than in what's going, right. So if I asked you to think of someone who has been in your life for years and years, you know, a friend, family member and then think of a time where they were really unskillful, like maybe they were mean, maybe they spoke out of turn and, you know, you felt a hurt because of that.

It's so easy to get to that moment. So these moments are like Velcro in our brain. Every time we faced a challenge that we didn't like we got disappointed, we let down, we felt we failed like Velcro and all the ways that we kind of succeed. Like we don't tend to revisit those a lot. So all of the wholesome moments, moments of connection, moments where we received something wonderful where someone else was really generous to us and that loved one in our life probably did like 10,000 amazing things if we've had a long term relationship with them, but it's just easier for our brain to notice the negative.

So how do we take care of that because it interrupts our ability to feel happy in this moment. Um So we need to know that our, our negativity bias is leaning us towards what's wrong in this moment. And then we train ourselves to widen our perspective from there. So that, so it might be true, it might be true that, you know, something went wrong with tech this morning that was, you know, not pleasant or that someone was supposed to have work done by now and they haven't done that. It might be true that, you know, I've been under pressure for time, whatever else might be true. But then what else is true in this month? So let's do another little practice together. Do another mini practice simply to explore um how we can be in this moment and widen our perspective. So allow yourself again to sit really comfortably. You do not have to look at the screen so you can stretch out, you can allow yourself, allow your eyes to rest on a nice color or view. And we're simply going to ask ourselves like what else is true in this moment. So, um this practice uh connects with our most fundamental needs as a warm blooded mammal on the planet. So, if we were all squirrels or blue whales, we would all have the same, um the same needs. Maybe we're a pack of wolves exploring our needs.

So, the first thing that a mammal needs is appropriate shelter and you might simply explore how worried do I need to be about having appropriate shelter in this moment? So you can use a memory of a time where maybe you were caught out in terrible weather and you didn't have appropriate shelter, maybe out at sea or maybe on your way home. But you, the rain opens, the heavens opened and you got drenched and simply seeing uh what does it feel like in this moment if you do have appropriate shelter, sensing, you know, maybe bricks and mortar around you knowing that someone designed this space specifically for your safety to keep humans safe.

And over the years, things have been added, maybe like fire alarms or carbon monoxide alarms or exit signs to keep us even safer. So how does it feel to know you're safe? Ok. And the next most uh key need for us is um is appropriate temperature. So as a warm-blooded mammal, our ability to regulate our temperature is really important. So you might just sense how worried do I need to be by temperature being too hot, too cold? Sometimes we're able to open a window or turn on heating or put on or take off a layer of clothing. So just sensing, how worried do you need to be your human body's need of temperature? And again, we can use our memory to, to sense a time where that need wasn't met. Like freezing cold, boiling hot. Just sensing and then moving on to our need for fresh clean water. How far would you have to go in kilometers and miles to reach um water that's healthy for your body? And it might be that you have water right beside you. Can you feel the effortlessness of being able to have access to fresh water? I have clean water in my Earl Gray T and then food. How worried should you be about being able to nourish yourself today? Yeah. And if it's effortless, then just sense, how does it feel to know that need is just taken care of?

There's something on the stove in the fridge and our final two needs. We, we do this very gently with ourselves. So the first need is, um, is uh to feel physically safe and do this very gently. You might look just to go. Are you physically safe in this moment? And sometimes I kind of tap into a cave person ideal of like imagining a saber toothed tiger or someone with a big spear and a, you know, cave person clothing. So you might, you can bring humor to it to make sure you're safe, dis sensing, feeling your body being safe. In this moment and then emotionally, are there any threats? And that could be as simple as you know, being asked too many questions people being at you in this moment. Hmm, we may have a a nemesis at work but it has to be what's actually true in the immediate environment to allow yourself to sense like not only may you feel safe but actually you're on a group where everyone is trying to take care of their well being and your well being a really useful environment.

And 99.5% of our day, all of our basic needs are being met, our basic needs as human beings. And it's a shame to have those needs met and not to be able to feel a sense of peace. Actually, if we have conditions for peace, but can't feel peaceful and we might as well be in a war zone, we might as well be living in a place that uh that is not safe for us. So with mindfulness, we try and come into this moment of our life and look at it with fresh eyes to go. Well, what is true? You know, our negativity bias will tell us all the problems and we kind of widen from there to go. What else is true in this moment. So um our habit of dissatisfaction in this moment keeps us, prevents us from being happy. It can sabotage our sense of contentment satisfaction. Well, being in this moment, our habit of worrying about the future is, is the other thing that really um uh sabotages us. And um and the very best way of taking care of the future is to take care of this moment. Very best way because we tend to have the habit of imagining lots of different futures, lots of different things that could go wrong. And our habit of anxiety, it lives in our imagination and it um it is Jody PICO. The author says, anxiety is like a rocking chair.

It gives you something to do, but you're not really getting anywhere. So I love that definition of it and it does, it feels like, you know, thinking an anxious thought, we feel like we're kind of doing something about it, but we're not, we're simply imagining a made up a difficult moment in the future and we freeze at the moment of difficulty.

So we just go, what if this happens? And then our body believes it and then we become more anxious. And actually when we are engaging, when something, you know, something challenging or difficult is actually happening, something happens. And then we kick in our resources, right?

Like how many of us have faced a challenge, utter failure or betrayal, whatever else, like really difficult things happens and it turns out we can do hard things, you know, we face it and then we begin to problem solve. And so that's very difficult, that's very different. To the anxious thought of what if this happens. So we have to keep going. What happens next then like, oh, if that happens, I'd be very sad. And then I would email this person, text this person some of my strength, read back on notes. I would do other things to begin to resource myself in that moment. So um this again comes from not believing everything we think um Kara has shared. Um Yeah, that, that quote, that analogy of being like a rocking chair and it's quite addictive, like you're just rocking, you feel like something's happening, but it's, it's just this self uh short, it's a self circuit of just worry without any support for the worry. You know, worry's job is to worry. And I, one of our difficulties with taking care of anxiety is that we expect anxiety to do something else. We expect anxiety to become calm or wise or not worry. And anxiety's job is to worry. It evolved on an evolutionary basis in order to keep you safe. Its job is whenever it hears a rustle to go, am I safe? Am I safe? And, and so we don't need anxiety to be different in itself. It's not a problem.

It's when it is grown wildly out of all proportion that it becomes overwhelming and sabotages our ability to be well. So what we need is other things also to be alive and kind of have germinated in our garden when anxiety comes up. We need also wisdom or feeling of calm or peace or patience or um uh uh prudence or self-regulation. So we need all these different things that we aim to grow. And so that when anxiety comes up, it's cared for, it has a whole environment uh to care for itself. Um And then, and then it's not an enemy like it's fine, we can listen to it, it can go. What if? And we can go. I hear your anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. But I've got this like, I've got this. It's OK. So thanks for your input. And there is something kind of bigger and wiser than anxiety that can help to lead us through this. So learning not to believe everything we think, learning to short circuit when anxiety circuit is going and come back to our body. Um or to maybe a sense of our mo our more basic needs can help us to feel grounded and stable. And I have um I have a load of guided meditations on my website if you're um if you're looking to explore more. So I'm an inside timer or you can go to Orlo suli.com and um explore some more.

And if there are any questions that have come up, I know that's kind of like a whistle stop tour sensing. I hope you were able to get a sense of how it feels to be you in this moment because when we spend especially on days like today where we're in front of the screen a lot, we can kind of, we live from here upwards and we can kind of lose the deeper sense with ourselves. Um So Maggie says, thank you for the talk. Many moments that made me smile. Thank you so much. And neurologically when we smile, our body knows that we're safe. So actually you have touched something that nourishes you for several hours ahead. So when we generate a feeling of maybe peace or calm or safety, we become a little bit more vulnerable to that. We're more able to feel it for a few hours. So actually, it helps us now and it helps us for a few hours ahead. So thank you so much, Maggie. That's very kind and I'll hold on for a moment in case there are any questions I know that you may have um panels to bounce along to. Um and I'm very grateful for practicing together today. So take good care of your precious heart. And um yeah, and I wish you a good day ahead as it unfolds. Mm Kara, thank you so much.

So, just to share with you not in front of chat and Kara had shared that they had a great win with the project last week, but the happy feeling lasts a short while. And then we go back to our addictive habit of worry thinking about to do list. I just call it to do listing So now when I notice myself, um when I notice that habit of thinking, I just, it's like printing a little label and putting it on it and just go to do listing and then I try to redirect my attention back. Yeah. And the thing is nothing else needs to change for us to live with a, with a much stronger sense of well being and happiness. So the outside world is just the same way as it always was. But our attitude profoundly changes our experience of our life. My sister sometimes shares that she would get a T shirt printed saying mindfulness makes the whole world a little less annoying and that's how she experiences it. She thinks like all you people are a little bit less annoying to me when I practice. Um oh thank you so much Valerie. It is my absolute pleasure to share. It's something that I feel. Um Yeah, very strongly about that self care is not selfishness and that we need to, you know, train our brains to, we need to kind of curate our thinking, our everyday thinking. So we need to notice over and over again.

What are our habits of thinking and then and be a good guardian to those so that we can take really good care of ourselves. It's the magic of neuroplasticity. Ka Ka said about retraining herself and that is, you know, that is the great hope of the research into neuroplasticity that simply where we put our, our attention over and over, it becomes an experience, then it becomes familiar, then it becomes a habit and then it becomes a trait.

So we say things to ourselves like, well, I'm just an angry person or I'm just like that and it's not entirely true. Like I have a habit of worry. I have a habit of being very judgmental and intolerant for example. And, um, and actually that can become a different habit and it's, it's simply repetition, repetition, repetition. And it's why it's why we begin with kind of a kindness and a curiosity so that we can really stay with ourselves because, you know, looking at ourselves and noticing, gosh, I'm a bit stuck in this rush of maybe worry or anger frustration. Um you know, we need some bravery and we need unconditional kindness to do this work. So I will hold on for another moment if there are any questions. So even if there's a moment for you in between sessions today, kind of a transition moment, you could use that anytime we have a transition, it's it's a really good opportunity to kind of disconnect ourselves from our momentum of rushing this kind of, you know, sometimes we go through our day as though we're being chased and we can short circuit that in a second.

So at any moment when you're switching, you can simply withdraw maybe from the screen from anything else and allow yourself to just find a color, find a sound, find a view, breathe all the way down to your belly button and really enjoy your eye breath because when you can enjoy your eye breath, you are sending your nervous system uh a very strong message that it's safe, safe in this moment.

So, thank you, Valerie. Thank you Marjorie. All righty. So I wish you a nourishing and innovative, inspiring um time at women tech and I look forward to being in and out of different sessions and thank you so much for practicing together. So take good care of yourselves. You're so welcome. Thank you, Kara. Ok. I'm gonna press leave now just so that you have advanced warning. You don't feel cut off and I am rooting for your well being. Thank you so much. Take care.