Ok. Well, good morning ladies. Thank you very much for joining me on this presentation, uh executive presence for Women in Tech. So it's about stepping up and speaking up confidently.Um And so the agenda today that I've got for you is is to talk about executive presence, what it is and why it matters, how we can sabotage ourselves through our communication. Uh The top tips, I've got some top tips and fun things that I'd like to share with you and then uh Q and A at the end. So a little bit about myself just to give you a little um uh background. I'm American living in the Netherlands for 30 years. I have a corporate background, corporate sales but started my own company 10 years ago, called successful speaker. Now to help executives and business people not be boring in their presentations because that was a big thing for me.

Uh There were so many boring presentations and sales trainings that I wanted to do something about that. Uh So now I'm an executive speaker coach, dealing with Fortune 500 Companies, executives to help them present with impact and to tell stories and also Um I'm a TED X coach in the Netherlands. I've coached more than 100 TED speakers over the last few years, which has been an amazing experience to do that. So I'm very happy and honored to be here today to talk about one topic that um I have a lot of experience in and uh I teach a lot in webinars and trainings about executive presence. So what is executive presence actually? So there's several ways to look at at this um executive presence is being self-aware, self-aware. It's being conscious and intentional in what you're doing. So, self-awareness means uh being confident when you come onto the screen for virtual calls, being self-aware of, of, of who's gonna be on the call of who's behind you.

Uh How, how it looks behind you to be self-aware means how do I come across as a, as a speaker, as a presenter, as a, as a business person? What is my persona? So that's being self aware. Another thing is to, of course, be business aware, be aware of uh uh a business things that are important to how you present yourself and then also being a leader, being a leader also matters. So I'm gonna just go into a little bit more depth on these. So self awareness. So the first two areas here are being conscious and being intentional, being conscious of yourself, sort of an internal consciousness. How am I feeling today? Am I nervous? Am I feeling confident. Am I gonna do well in this um presentation or, or meeting with my boss or with clients and to also be intentional, intentional in how you do things. And these are both kind of ones that internal confidence, being conscious internally of, of how you're feeling and intentional is an external kind of consciousness that is uh is um how you bring yourself out to the world, the actions that you take and how you present yourself in different situations.

But it's also about some soft skills as a leader, as AAA person with executive presence about it's about being intuitive and sort of the, the, the buzzword these days is emotional intelligence. Uh How compassionate are you, how are you able to uh see what's going on in a situation just by looking at people, how they are, how they're acting, how they're um how they're being uh in a group or on a call with you. And another thing about executive presence is it's, it's a, it's a combination of being humble and knowledgeable. So being humble means not speaking up too much, letting other people have have uh the attention or get, get uh accolades for a job well done. So being humble, being present, but also being knowledgeable, being knowledgeable about, about the business and about what's going on with a quiet confidence, quiet confidence is also there. But it's also about blending, as I say, humility and knowledge. It's very important to be able to blend those two things and to be approachable. How approachable are you? Are people scared to talk to you? Are people willing to come up and to talk with you? And what about listening skills? Are you really listening? Can you really listen well as well as speak? Because these days listening is just as important to find out what's going on. So the next one is um a business sense, having a business sense, of course, being competent and being calm in a crisis.

This is also very important to be able to manage a situation. How do you manage yourself with nerves on a deadline that's really tight or something that happens at the in the workplace if you're criticized or, or there's a crisis, something that has to be taken care of. How, how calm do you stay? Are you calm for your team? These are business and issues, but also uh is there a communication element to executive presence, executive presence is your persona, how confidently you come across and how do you articulate the vision? How do you articulate the company, vision or your vision or your goals? How do you present yourself? Can you tell your own story very well if I said so, so tell, tell me a little bit about yourself. Would you be able to, to clearly and crisply tell me, tell me about yourself. Also being able to delegate delegating is important and of course, to help the company achieve their goals. So, so these are all elements that make up uh executive presence. And the third one of course, then is being a leader, being a true leader, being able to teach and being able to inspire others and also to empower. So teach, teach the team something new, support them in their growth, being able to inspire them, being able to empower them and uh and also let them let them go out and try, let them take some of the responsibility and give credit to the team, but also being able to have, have the hard conversation when it's necessary.

So I'm gonna come out again to, to the, to the main screen and see uh see how everyone is doing. So uh so can you all hear me? Can you hear me? Fine. So I'm just gonna keep continuing because it's a blind situation. I can't really see you. So I'm gonna come in and out and see if there's any questions. So does anybody have, thank you for that. Thank you, Kara and Li and Cla Claudina. Thank you. Sorry, if I mispronounced your name? Excellent. Thank you for the feedback. So let me ask you this. Do any of you have colleagues or leaders in your organization that have this kind of confidence in this executive presence persona? I I worked in Deloitte for some time and there was a gentleman there. He was a top executive in the global sales team and he walked in the room and everyone knew it, everyone knew he was there, the the energy changed in a good way because this man was really kind and compassionate and interested in everyone else. But he was a top executive and he knew everything about the organization and how to be successful. But he always kept an eye on everyone around the room and he made an effort to know your name. He made an effort to know my name. He met me once and I saw him again in a different event and he goes, I said, hello. Do you remember me? And he said, of course, I do Barbara.

So it's important to see role models and see people how they are acting and, and, and how you can develop more of your own persona. Hi, Claudia Claudia has a question. Um When you say hard conversations, can you give examples? So, yes, so some a project didn't come out. Well, the results were not good. Um The person is not, is not um is not living up to their performance uh goals. So how do you have those hard conversations? But still keep it positive and encourage your team to do to do their best? So it's these kind of hard conversations or to give feedback on something that might not have worked so well. So Anna Carolina has, has, has a, has a person in her organization that shows a lot of executive presence. So I ask you to just be aware of that, be aware and conscious of, of others in the organization that show this confidence in this persona. OK. So now I'm gonna go back to um share my screen uh with my powerpoint. So I've already talked about these ones. So the next one is interesting and I, I wonder if, if any of you will recognize any of these habits, how we can sabotage ourselves and not even know it. What do women do from a communication point of view to sabotage ourselves?

So, let's see which of these you recognize to raise your voice at the end of a sentence when you shouldn't raise it. A lot of, a lot of women have this challenge that they raise their voice at the end when it's not a question when there's a question, of course, you raise your voice at the end. But a lot of women, maybe, you know, someone, maybe you do this yourself, raise your voice at the end of a sentence. And what this shows is, is sort of subconscious uh insecurity and self. Am I doing a good job? Do you like me? Is this good what I'm saying? So, be careful of that. Be aware of that. Try not to raise your voice at the end of a sentence. Go down, go down because that is more confident. It's called up talk when you go up with your voice. So just be aware of this because these things also matter in, in management, they matter when you are going for your promotion or going for a raise or some kind of interview. Be careful of how you manage these, these things I'm gonna share right now. Um So do you touch your hair? Do you touch your hair when you're nervous? Go like this. Do you touch your hair? A lot of women do that one when they're nervous? Too many. So um do you say sorry a lot?

Do you say sorry when you really shouldn't say sorry? Be careful of the sorry? Because when you say it too much, it's also showing insecurity. Another one is nervous laughter. Do you ha do you laugh like that if you're nervous because you don't know what to say next or you talk too much. Be careful of that, be careful of these elements because they're also kind of under the surface subconscious. And do you end statements with a put down with a self put down? This is, well, I'm not sure what I, what I have to say is important but or I'm not sure this matters but or maybe you won't think this is important to the conversation. But so these kinds of statements at the end are really um negative self talk. So we really have to watch that, watch that negative self talk. And then the last one is, are you a people pleaser that setting boundaries we have to set boundaries of what we can do or cannot do for people that we work with. So do you recognize some of these, some of these uh negative things that can affect uh how we are perceived by our colleagues and our managers? So I quickly want to give you some uh communication tips.

Now, I've got five communication tips that I want to share to develop your executive presence. So I'm gonna go with these through these rather fast. They're just fun and colorful, just wanting to share. So the first one is step over your good girl image, step over your good girl image and step up. There's no one that's gonna say, oh there's no, they're gonna see how good I am. They're gonna see that. I'm, I'm a really good worker by the work that I do that doesn't really exist. We have to promote ourselves and stand up when we do something well, for our accomplishments, being able to tell our story. So step over that good girl image where you might uh hang back and not talk about things that you've accomplished or maybe not go for that promotion, go for that raise, go for that new job. You gotta step over that and go for what you want. Number five, number four, increase your visibility. The visibility is really important in connection to executive presence. What is visibility? Visibility is uh how much you're seeing? How much are you seeing by management. Do they see you as a up and coming person that is promotable?

Do they see you um taking responsibility for projects or helping out? So, try to increase your visibility whenever you can by, by doing that presentation, if someone has to present the results, you take it. If you know, if someone needs to help, needs help you help them look for opportunities to guide new people, struggling people and yeah, speak up more, speak up more in meetings and I have a challenge for you. My challenge is to speak up at least once in a meeting or at least ask one question, speak up at least once or ask at least one question per meeting. See if you can do that, see how that works to get more visibility. Another one is taking criticism, taking criticism gracefully. Now when we're criticized, it's hard because our ego is there and no one really likes to be criticized and we can see it more as a learning moment if you take criticism and you, you don't get defensive and you wonder, hm, is there any truth to that? Is there any truth to what they're saying and always stay calm and professional? But take it as a learning moment. How can I learn from this? What what can I take from this to improve myself?

So be, be conscious and graceful about the criticism and see it as a as a as a plus to help you be your best self. Number two, this is my personal favorite. Try always to receive a compliment. So if you receive criticism, gracefully receive a compliment, these two are also connected, receive a compliment. If I were to say to you, oh, you did a great job on that project last week, would you say to me? Oh, well, it wasn't me. 00, well, well, when someone compliments you on a task, you say, oh, it wasn't really me. But we have to know how to, how to talk about the we statement. Yes, we did a good job in this project or the I statement. I, I guess I did have a big impact on this, on this job. So resist your urge, resist your negative reflex to deflect it and not accept it because it's just a compliment is a gift that the other person is giving you. So just try to smile and receive it and say thank you. I challenge you to do that. I challenge you. The next time someone gives you a direct compliment, just receive it and smile and say thank you. Now, the next one is number one is also uh is really important. Words are things, words are really important.

Words are things so be careful how you speak to yourself, your own self in your head, what you're talking about and about yourself to others, watch how you speak about yourself because words are things and they make a difference. I challenge you to be conscious of how you speak about yourself. Like I said before. Well, I might not be good for this role. I might not be able to have this role, whatever, watch how you talk about yourself to others really matters. Uh And so, um, I'm gonna come back out to the, to the group and, uh, I've been a little fast, I guess. But, uh, how about these tips? Did you like the tips? Did you find uh interesting? I know it's only 20 minutes and I love to talk about this. I'm really passionate as you can tell. So, um I, I hope some of those tips were useful for you. Um because uh we gotta watch the time a little bit, but I did want to just show you um show, see if there's any questions, any questions here so far. I'm back on the chat so I can see the chat now. Thank you for the compliments. Um Just wanna let you know that I've got a, I've got a book called Boring to Brilliant uh reference reference guide for speakers. It's available on bowl.com, that's a Elands uh organization and Boring to Brilliant speaker.com.

So this whole book has 100 and 60 tips just like I um have have shared with you. Um So if you're interested to um to have a look, um it's available and um and so, um I just wanted to show one more thing here if I could before we run out of time, let's say, go back over here and make the screen big again. Uh So there's, there's the book and also um just wanted you to know that I've got a program called Step Up, Speak Up for corporate women communication coaching and mentoring for professional women. It's a new program that I'm starting. It's one on one coaching, but also in a group situation. So I'd love to get in touch with you and um and um have some contacts uh by linkedin. I'd love to hear from you on linkedin. Um I'd love to connect with you. Here's my email address and my uh my cellphone number and um it would be really great to um yeah, to, to be in touch with you and I've got some last words, although I'm not really gonna hang up until they hang up on me. One thing I wanna say the last words, be brave even if you're not pretend to be. I have goldfish. I have a big goldfish tank here. I love my goldfish. They all have names and they all eat from my finger.

So be brave even if you're not and show the world your best self. So sometimes we just have to step up and be brave even when we're not and not let that sabotage voice in our head, get the best of us because life is short and it's about being brave and yeah, showing your best self to the world. So, are there any questions, are there any comments? What did you think? What did you think of my sabotage tips? Do any of you go up at the end of your sentence and not, and not really know it? Uh So Anna, ok, that's how do you avoid coming across as arrogant when doing these things? Ok. How do you come across uh as a as not, not arrogant? How do you avoid coming across as arrogant when doing these things? Um Well, when you speak up for yourself, you, you show practically what you did. So, so it's not, I'm so great. I'm terrific. Actually, what I did was this and this and this and it decreased and increased revenue or it made a difference or, or made the problem less. So you actually use concrete ways of doing that.

It's not, it's not meant to be fluffy and say, oh, look at me how great it's meant to be. I made a difference here. I am a contributor. I show value. It's all about the value that you can show. So um OK, Nisha. Very nice. Please get in touch with me after we're after we're finished here. Excellent. Um OK, so what if another person in your organization actively and repeatedly tries to take credit for your work? Oh, that's a tough one. That's a tough one if they want to take credit for your work. Yeah. All you can do is, um, I have one tip. Um The next time you're in a meeting or the next time this happens, try to get someone else to support your, that you came up with the idea that you came up with the idea. So if you're in a meeting and you present a, an idea and they don't really take it. I've had this happen with some women actually with men. Um, If they don't, if they don't accept your idea, have someone else in the room say yes. Uh Barbara, that was a really good point you made or yes or last week, Barbara did point that out.

So, so you don't rely on another person, but maybe another person can help you and then you can help that person another time to make sure that you're both recognized for your, for your talents and and what you're contributing. So um what if you need more time to answer the topic in meetings and then always people overtake you because they're faster. You can always say um that's Maggie. I think Maggie said that. Um say we can always take this offline. We have, we can take this offline, we can continue the conversation offline. I'd be happy to talk to you about it further so that you take the control back even if someone's faster. But you really another another tip. I'd love to share so many tips with you. I only have a few more minutes left and they may even cut us off shortly. But, um, raise your hand, raise your hand when you're in a, in a presentation. Um, just to say, I'd like to say something here. Can I, can I just add something? If you this gesture of raising your hand, whether it's video or in person, we will force them or make them listen to you or stop what they're saying to give you a moment, but you have to take it, you have to take the moment. Uh Can I just say something here? So try to use that, try to use that and I might get cut off because I don't see what time, what time uh time I've got left. So I'm just gonna keep going. I just gotta keep going.

Uh OK, so Kara uses the raised hand to help, help me since I'm an introvert. Excellent, Kara. Yeah. So that's excellent. So um let me still go back up here and see if I can answer any other questions. So please um please connect with me on linkedin. I'd really love to share some more tips and get to know you and um see if we can work together somehow because I'm really into, as you can tell empowering women. I got a really great one on one program that um goes over eight weeks and it's a coaching and mentoring program that I would love to um love to share with you can I share the presentation. Yes. Um If you come to me on linkedin, I, I will be happy Savita to share it with you. Um So let's see. Let me see if I got any other questions here. Uh We can make a group, Misha, I'd love to make a group. How do you deal with a manager? That's the opposite of all inspired leaders and offers a compliment before giving you harsh criticism. How do you deal with a manager? That's the opposite of an inspired leader and offers compliments before giving you harsh criticism. Ok, so this is, this is where you have to smile and take the high road and be graceful. But this is Inez, Inez asked this question, how do you deal with a manager? That's uh that's not in inspiring and offers a compliment.

So he's got a habit, he he or she, he or she has a habit of starting off with a compliment even if it's not authentic. So you just smile, you just smile and if he gives harsh criticism, you just kind of wait because you know it's coming. And as I said, is it true? Is there any truth to it? And if not just be polite, be polite and respectful and just smile and write it down and say that you will work on it. And if it's if if there are some improvement areas go do that work on it, but always be respectful, always be respectful. If you can. OK. So um let me see if there's any other questions. Can I share my slides? Um Yeah, I don't think this is gonna be um open to the public, so I didn't get enough votes. Uh So I'm not sure about that, but if you connect with me on linkedin, I'd be happy to share it. OK? So Rebecca says, saying sorry, saying sorry frequently I move it away from you and then and say thanks for waiting instead of sorry, I'm late. OK? That's a good one. Yes, thank you. So when you come on a call and you're a little bit late, try not to say sorry, try to really limit sorry in your conversation because it makes you look weaker.

It makes you look, it, it makes you, you know, not, not looking strong, like a strong, confident person and we're talking about executive presence here and so limit the sorry. So say when you come late. Um Thank you so much for waiting. I appreciate your time and I appreciate your time. So let's let's go on. Uh But you know, there are times when we're late for appointments and sometimes you say sorry if something didn't work out like tech didn't work or something but try to eliminate those, sorry. OK. So um let's see, let's see. Very good tips, excellent presentation. Are there any other questions? I'm kinda just gonna go down to the end because um because we're um we're uh let's see, we're, we're still still having 5, 1153. So let me ask another question. How many of you um are not feeling confident, are not feeling confident when you present, when you present yourself, are there, are there, are there times when you say uh I'm so nervous. I don't know how to present. Well, I got one more tip before we get disconnected. Memorize the opening lines. So when you have to do a presentation, memorize the opening line and the second line, like you can memorize it so well that you can say it in the shower, you can say it in the car. You can say it going on the train open like take that first two sentences and memorize it so well that you can present it easily when the time comes and then the third sentence will come and then the fourth sentence will come and then you'll find your groove.

But memorize the opening line, it really makes a difference. And that goes also for the closing line. The closing line also matters because a lot of people just forget about the closing of a talk, right? I'm sure you've heard people say, oh, well, OK, I'm just done. I'm I'm done now. That's all. And I hate that I'm like, oh man, you missed an opportunity. So the closing, wow, I call it, the closing statement is just as important as the opening. So spend time on that spend time on that too and make it an inspirational last thing you say, like a microphone drop like President Obama did with his last speech, microphone drop. So memorize the opening so that you can say it, you know, when you sleep and it comes across real confident. And also make sure you spend time on that closing because it does make a difference. And also on video calls on video calls, you know, virtual presentations are much different. I didn't speak about that today. But virtual presentations also are um are, are um import like audience engagement, audience engagement, executive presence. How are you online? How are you presenting yourself online?

Are you sitting tall in your chair? Are you looking at the audience? Are you having a strong confident voice? And how do you engage them? So build in questions, build in questions to your presentation online. So you can stop and you can ask questions. I tried to do that for you. I tried to do that for you to come back out and go back in to the presentation when, when I can so ask questions and try to engage them a little bit. And also when they're coming on the call, welcome them. I don't know. Um When, when we first started II, I mentioned your names, I had a little bit conversation. People like to hear their names mentioned when they come online if it's appropriate. So when you do a webinar, you do a presentation, you say? Oh, Mariel, nice to see you. D yeah, Anna Anna Rita. So glad you're here. Katarina. Excellent that you came. So, but make it authentic, make it real so that it's authentic but, but you're the host, you're the host of the, of the, of the event. So, so make the, the attendees feel comfortable and welcome and do everything you can to make it a good presentation for them like I'm trying to do for you because I'm as you can tell, I love what I do. So um so, so these are just some, some extra tips and, and the last thing that I would want to say about online is that a lot of people, a lot of people, thank you, Annette, appreciate that a lot of people um turn off their camera or they're looking at their phone a lot and they're not really engaged in participating in the meeting.

So just be conscious. This is another thing about being conscious and intentional, conscious of yourself, intentional. What you do to give respect to the speaker online, have your camera on whenever you can try not to look distracted, try to nod, give a nod, you know, give a nod.

Nod is a non verbal. Yes, I'm with you. So I can't see you. But normally in a webinar, if we do a Zoom webinar, I can see the people and I'm looking for their nods that they're with me. So just be, be conscious when you're doing a virtual presentation or virtual meeting of your, of your people and make sure that they're, that they're taken care of. So let's see. How do, how do you uh how do you encourage, encourage others to turn on their camera? Say it at the beginning, Anna say at the beginning at the beginning, you set the ground rules because you're the leader, you set the ground rules. OK? So we're on a call now, we're gonna speak for 45 minutes or this session is gonna be two hours, we're gonna have a break and I ask you to please keep your camera on because I want you to be engaged and I want you to get the most out of this session. So you make it your hard thing to say yes, please keep your camera on. It matters to me that you are here. So use those kind of words to, to make them make the uh attendees feel important and that you care that they get the most out of the session.

And I know it's a little vulnerable but it's the right thing because they're gonna say, oh OK, she, you know, she wants me to be to be engaged here. So set the ground rules at the beginning. Any other questions? I think they're gonna pull me soon but any other questions. But uh if not, uh I just wanna uh thank you again for, for your time here. I think we had um 6166 I had 66 and that's pretty good. So I had 66 attendees. So that's uh that made my day uh because that's a pretty good number. So I'm happy about that. So, one more. Let's see. What if a colleague is ignoring you repeating what you said in an email as her idea. Hm. Yeah, that is a problem these days. You gotta just take the high road there. You just gotta be above it. Take the high road and um just sometimes you have to do that and, and uh at a certain moment, this is uh Katharina asked this question, uh repeating what you said in an email is her idea. So all you can do is take the high road here and present yourself and keep yourself at that high level executive presence. And um and it'll come around, it'll come around, there's karma involved in this too also, Karma. Karma in business. Thanks Anita.

I could hear you all day. I appreciate that. So, um so yeah, so uh so keep in touch with me and uh let me know how I can help you and check out my book. Boring to Brilliant speaker.com. Uh You can buy it, buy it today. And um yeah, let's, let's uh let's connect. Um So this is a little bit weird to be honest because I can't see when the, when it's gonna uh change. But anyway, I might go off any second because it's 11 o'clock. So, um, yeah, I think, uh, I think I'm just gonna stay here now and um, and keep talking, keep talking. So, um another question I'm just gonna keep answering questions until, uh, until I get cut off. Why do women who speak up considered not team players? Ok. Uh, not team players. That's Teresa, why do women who speak up are considered not team players? Yeah, that's, that's gonna take more time than I can um than I can uh answer here. But maybe we can connect on that, Teresa uh on the linkedin if you like um because there's more, there's more to it than that. So, um I, I think I'm gonna uh stop now. So I just wanna say thank you and everybody have a good day. Continue on with the great sessions and uh yeah, executive presence starts with you. It's how you present yourself. Any, any level in the organization. You can have executive presence if you're conscious and intentional and be brave and show the world your best self. Thanks, everybody.

Have a great day.