Today, I have 2 main session highlights. 1 is I wanna start to give context to this idea of a doing dilemma.In my TED Talk, I name doing as an addiction, and I share my own story as I will with you today about how I found a way out of that, which is still very active in my life today. I think I'll always be in recovery. But I was definitely that, woman, that young what young woman, that girl, that that child even that couldn't do enough. And that was rooted deep into my identity, which I'll share a little bit more. But I didn't realize it was really a form of addiction addiction until, I had a small a small health scare. And so I wanna talk today about what that doing dilemma is, why I've named it an addiction, and the impact it has on both our personal and professional lives.

And in that, I name 5 different types of doers, and I get underneath the belly of those doers to see what that addiction is about for them. And then the second, area is this idea of, presenting really a more authentic way to take action. Relative to our doing lives, sometimes it can feel impossible to do anything else but what we've been doing, particularly because in many ways, it allows us to be successful, this sort of desire to stay busy and to keep achieving things. But there's also a practice in there that really moves us from taking inauthentic action to authentic action, and it's called authentic inaction. And in that framework, there are 4 steps to support you in really, exploring this concept of authentic inaction for yourself and also considering if and how you might wanna take that out into your workplaces. So a few personal, professional snippets about me.

I'm an organizational psychologist by training, and I really get have the opportunity to play at this beautiful intersection between business, leadership, psychology, and well-being. I spent 25 years, of experience in global HR and leadership roles, both in high-tech and biotech industries. 5 years of that, I was, blessed with an experience to work overseas in Switzerland. And then in 2015, I went out on my own. I was internally running large scale change and transformation and organizational development functions. And part of my commitment to my recovery to get out of this addiction up to doing was actually for me leaving the organization. And I always wanted to start my own practice.

So I did that in 2015, and I founded the Soulful Living Institute, which is a coaching and consulting platform that really works with people on a deeper level. I coauthored a book called the art and truth of transformation, and I mentioned I did my TEDx in 2020. And since then, I have developed, 5 different talks related to this concept, as a keynote speaker. And I also get to still coach. So I coach at Stanford's, Graduate School of Business as well as IMD, which is International Management, Development Institute. It's a business school in Luzon, Switzerland. But probably the most relevant thing about me, particularly for this talk, is that, I am also an addict really, an action junkie, a doing addict. And for me, that is really a woman who regularly sacrificed her way of being for this reliable high of doing for decades of my life.

And really up until about 2015, I had really convinced myself I had it pretty well together. I have a strong marriage. I've been married for almost 22 years. Two great kids that are now 17 and 19. I have really enriching and fun friendships in my life and I really loved what I did. I have always loved what I did. I have had a very fulfilling career. And yet many days, I woke up really still feeling empty, feeling like who I was, what I'd done, and what I had was not yet enough. And so I chased more. I did more, but more never seemed to settle my soul. It never seemed to really fulfill or fill my heart or strengthen my relationships. And for the most part, what more really meant for me was unhealthy stress, greater responsibility. I said yes to everything.

I wouldn't even allow the room to go silent for a moment before I would say, sure. I'll I'll do that or what a great idea. And, ultimately, it led to physical exhaustion and, almost a burnout in 2014. And most importantly, more meant less time with people in my life that mattered most. More ultimately meant losing connection with my own sense of self and true sense of self worth. So I remember the first time I saw myself in this addiction. It was 2014, and one morning while I was eating breakfast, my spoon started clattering against my cereal bowl. And so I I really developed a tremor in my hand, and a few days later, I noticed myself speaking with a stutter. Just having difficulty finding my words, which happens, but more than that, I had developed a stutter. And so I called my doctor who had scheduled an MRI.

She was, really worried that I had multiple sclerosis, and she shared that, you know, my gender and my age bracket kinda put me in the high risk patient profile. So not a recognition that anyone wants, but there it was. And at that time, I'd been working super crazy hours. I, included traveling and getting way too little sleep. On most days, I remember finding it, like, difficult to breathe, to really take that full deep breath kind of into my belly that resets my nervous system. And, and so I felt trapped. I really felt trapped by my drive to keep doing, and yet at that time, I really felt helpless to change anything about it. Well, thankfully, my diagnosis was not multiple sclerosis. It was stress. So, basically, I had done this to myself. And, you know, the I guess the possibility of having a life threatening disease like multiple sclerosis, would be a wake up call for sure.

But above all, whether I had it or not, I knew I had been gifted a clear warning sign. And I knew at that moment that it was time to really face my dish addiction and acknowledge all the negative impact all my years of doing was having on my health as well as my relationships, which from a value point of view, I I are my prized possessions. And yet here I was not being able to be fully present with people that I loved. Oftentimes just not even really lacking the capacity to come into full presence with the moment that was right in front of me. So acknowledging my addiction, was important, but, not necessarily enough. I really needed to rethink and reframe my concept of doing. I needed to shift this, like, internal belief structure about what it looked like to contribute and to be seen and acknowledged, not just for what I did, but for who I was.

And maybe this sounds easy for some, but for me, it definitely was not easy. It was far from easy. So not long after my health scare, I did make a huge change. In 2015, I left my senior leadership role in biotech. And I I left that role, not because I didn't love what I did, but because I really needed to do something in my second half of life, where I could be sustained, where the work of that I did each and every day would not just be an immediate gratification, but it would be something that really sustained me.

And so, now flash forward, I'd probably yeah. January 2016, I was at a women's retreat with my daughter on the coast of California. And it was the closing session, and all the women were being invited into the circle to share the impact that the weekend could have on their lives. And most of the women were speaking up and sharing how they were gonna take that weekend back out into their lives, and I was not. In fact, I I kind of come in the room and sat on the outside circle, not the inside circle, which was in and of itself a difference for me. And now my daughter who at that time was 11, maybe 12 years old, she was sitting across the room and looking at me. Right? I think she had gone into the circle a few times. But she was looking at me kind of waiting for me to speak up.

She was, like, prodding me with her eyes. She was prodding me to really be the mom that she'd always knew. The mom that really does without exception. But in that moment, maybe for the first time in my life, I heard this wiser and more familiar less familiar but wiser voice that said, why are you here? Why are you here if you don't step into the circle? Who are you if you're not contributing? And so that would I call my little inner critic. Right? If I don't jump in and act immediately or do what I'm I is there to do or what other people expected me for all sorts of reasons that kept my doing addiction in place, I really have this frame of mind that if I wasn't doing, I wasn't contributing. And so there there were these kind of 2 voices battling it out within me. And I it may not seem like a big deal, but I literally had to physically leave the room.

And and I knew it was a significant moment because I was coming into greater contact with my choices. And maybe leaving the room seemed obvious for some. It's like, okay. You're overwhelmed. You kinda walk outside and and take a look. But for me, it was a difference. Normally, I stayed right in and I ignored that quieter voice in me that was saying really equally loud loudly. You don't have to do this. You don't have to step into that circle. And so I'm outside and I'm looking out at the ocean and I started to reflect on just how many times this battle had ensued in my life. How many times I had really given myself permission to honor that small but important moment were all almost always given before taking action to really pause and decide.

And I started to think, wow, imagine all the effort I put out into the world, all the things that I've done in my life that were not authentic because they didn't come from a deeper place of knowing that this is what was needed or even what I wanted to do. And as a leader for the last 25 years and a parent for now the last 18 years, how much of my doing life had influenced a doing life in others, and what have they sacrificed as a result? And so that decision to not step into the circle that morning did honor that quieter voice in my head that said, you don't have to do this. And then that one small win gave me hope. It really gave me hope that I could actually practice that more in my life regularly. And what if one of those choices I could make for myself going forward was to actually do nothing, whether that doing nothing was for 10 seconds or 10 minutes or 10 hours or 10 days? What if one of the choices I could make for myself was to take authentic inaction?

Which were two words that up until that time in my life had not come into my consciousness, but were right front and center with me in that moment as I looked out at the ocean. So what is authentic inaction? So authentic inaction is, 1st and foremost, it's a practice. It's a practice of slowing down, being with, and letting go of our bias towards action. It's found really in those small but important moments in our day to day lives where we can and yet rarely do make choices that connect who we are with what we do. Authentic inaction is not a choice between doing and being. It's really about bringing the 2 into harmony and allowing ourselves, really giving ourselves permission to choose a less productive, a more focused life, a life that acknowledges the real limits of our attention, our energy, and our time, but in return, brings into sharper focus what it is we are truly meant to do.

What it is authentic inaction is not, it's really not at all about standing still and doing nothing. It's not another form of procrastination. It's not a practice that says we'll do nothing and the right thing will show up. It's a very conscious conscious practice. It's really is still about keeping things in motion, but allowing for more space and more fluidity in between our actions so that we can choose more authentically. But the doing dilemma is real. For the majority of my life, I I think I mentioned this, but I was really proud of being a doer. In fact, I come from a really long line of doers. My mom is a huge doer. She's 79, still works full time. She does a lot. Slowing down for her really is not an option that she's come into contact with. And I'm also recognizing that my 17 year old daughter is also a doer.

Yet I I this is not definitely not just a family trait. It's a trait of most, if not all of the context that I've lived in. And so to really let go of my bias towards action has required a dismantling of a systemic bias of a world that I'm a part of and a world that I have helped really to create. And the truth is many then suffer from doing too much. My TED Talk has had almost 600,000 views, so you don't get that many views on a TED Talk if the topic topic doesn't resonate. And so this crippling addiction, what I've seen it do is really affects all of us to the tune of, like, $1,000,000,000 a year in health care costs, corporate burnout myself. I almost had one I mentioned in 2014, and a ton of wasted effort, which doesn't enrich anyone for too long.

It has contributed as well to broken relationships and a loss of our truest sense of who we are in this world. And what makes this dilemma between doing and not doing even more difficult to overcome is that this idea of taking action, of really being in the world as doers, is not only accepted, it is honored, it is encouraged, and it is expected. It is an identity that is rooted deep in our culture. And while we absolutely make an impact on the world through our actions, our actions should be a natural extension of who we are. Instead, what we do has really become the definition of who we are. So why do we do so much? Well, for me, my own three crucible moments, my tremor, leaving my corporate role, and not stepping into the women's circle that morning, really finally convinced me that I could heal from my addiction.

Well, I can still easily be drawn in to my need to do. I've really stayed on this path exploring this concept I've named authentic inaction. I've also put on my researcher hat and curiously but painfully witnessed it all around me. I am definitely an action junkie, but so are many of the people that I spend my life with. Why do they choose to do often at the expense of their own being? What is their addiction really about? So next, I wanna really talk through 5 doers that I've identified and come to know. And in some way, I find myself still in each of them. And so as I'm describing them, just take a moment, take notice of which doer feels resonant for you, and just jot a few notes down as I'm going through them.

So the first is the achieving doer. The achieving doer says they have likely always been acknowledged for their ability to get things done, and so what they achieve then is directly connected to their self worth. The second is the avoiding doer. This avoiding doer does really to avoid being confronted with whatever is actually more important And as they keep themselves really occupied with tasks, they keep themselves in that wholesale hustle culture, that that chasing busy, they really avoid the facing the bigger questions and challenges in life.

And so they welcome really greater suffering in the long run. The third one is the controlling doer. And this one really does because they want it done and they're often not willing to wait for someone else to do it. And while that that drive for urgency on most everything and that that need to control, while that makes them feel more in control, that same control can push others away and they end up feeling alone and unsupported. The 4th doer is the perfecting doer. This doer does because they think, frankly, that no one else can do it as well as them, and their standards often result in overengineering and overefforting. And yet, no matter how well things are done, it still never quite feels good enough. And the 5th is the supporting doer.

The supporting doer really does for others and they're really, really good at it. Doing makes them feel more needed, but also obligated. And when they do too much without asking for anything in return, they end up feeling unappreciated and resentful. All doers share commitments, deadlines, projects, things we authentically want to do, and others we believe we have to do, and sometimes both are likely true. Yet, we still have the freedom freedom to choose whether we become action addicts, whether we have our doing life or it has us. So how does authentic inaction work? How can you take this practice out into your own life? So if you identified with any or several of the doer descriptions, here are 4 steps I'm recommending to support you in this concept of authentic inaction for yourself.

The first step really is simply being aware. It's that moment when you look in the mirror, you look at yourself deeply, and you say, I am an action junkie. I am a doing addict. Without first becoming aware of the addiction and how it's playing out in our lives, we are powerless to change it. And in this sense, it is no different than any other addiction. Step 2 is the adoption of potentially three new beliefs. The first belief is that our addiction to doing is not emotionally or physically healthy. It is not serving us and it's not serving anyone in our life that loves us. The child who can't get your attention or the husband who believes maybe you're not listening or can't become fully present at the dinner table or even co workers or staff that that look to you for leadership and want nothing more than your full presence.

It's not good for them either. The second belief is around this idea of authenticity, which is not just about knowing who we are, but understanding how our actions reflect to others, reflect to the world who we are more vividly than most anything else. And the 3rd belief really is a rejection of the lie that says do more. It is not yet enough. Step 3 of 4 is really sitting with this question, who am I and therefore, what am I to do? If we sit with this question long enough, really sit with it in our daily lives, the answers do come. You could also begin by making a list. What inspires you? What depletes you? What slowly sucks the soul out of your body? Look for themes. Look for ob the obvious. Look for the outliers.

Do you host a holiday dinner every year but really don't enjoy it? Do you, excuse me, raise your hand first in a meeting and take on projects that might not really be yours to take on? For me, like excuse me. For me, it looked like taking on social, obligations that I really didn't wanna take, like saying, yes. I'll meet you for a 7 AM walk when really what I wanted to do was sleep in. When our patterns and our reasons for doing become clear and we are fully committed to connecting who we are with what we do, when that moment arises for us to say yes or to say no, to do or not to do, we will begin to make the right choices. Our action or inaction will be more authentic. And so the final step, though, step 4 is really being willing to fail and choose again.

Because, ultimately, with an addiction, like any form of recovery, any form of experiment experimentation, we need to accept that in many circumstances, we won't hear or even listen to that more deeply seated, potentially less familiar, but more authentic voice. And that familiar pattern of saying yes even when we mean no may win. And when it does, we can kinda just pause and take a deep breath and be willing to sit with the discomfort that comes when we are at risk yet again of taking another action does that does not align with our more authentic selves, does not really line up with who we truly are, and next time, we choose again.

In closing, I wanna just share, that being an action junkie is an addiction, and like other addictions, recovery is possible. My hope in my own life is to stay committed to my own recovery, and my hope for all of you listening who resonate with this message to feel inspired and equipped to take your own first steps with all of you in action. So thank you very much for taking time out of your precious day today to join in on this particular topic, and would welcome you to connect with me afterwards here on my websites and my handle for Instagram. And I wish you the best of luck and a great final day of a great global event. Bye bye. I will stay for a few minutes longer and see if I can address some of the comments in the chat room. As an addiction, I think it's helpful. At the same time, I wonder if it minimizes. Yeah. So thank you, Cassie, for that. And I did choose that word really, really thoughtfully.

And I talked to a lot of other people in my life who were recovering recovering from different addictions, whether that be food or drugs, gambling. And, why I really named it very, very tenderly, as an addiction is because this addiction really is something that you're not in control of and that you've lost control of. And then the impact of that is detrimental to your well-being and to your relationships, which is very similar to other forms of addiction. Not putting it, as an addiction that may be more difficult to overcome than other types of chemical addictions, but definitely one that doesn't happen overnight. And it really for me, I think I'll be committed to my recovery for the rest of my life. But thank you for asking the question. Absolutely. Agree. Yeah. And I also see your comment there, Cassie, about, just being on computers all day and really working on things that are important and feel like an endless to do list, yes, list, and yet, there we are ignoring our own bodies and our own signals and signs.

Absolutely. I did it for good 25 years. And, frankly, I was complicit in being a leader who modeled that. And, while I can't change the past, I definitely will never be a leader that models that as a burden.