Welcome to how to make time for your goals. Even if you're drowning into dues. Do you ever feel like this? Well, if you do, you are in the right place today is not about adding even more to your art full plate.It's really about reenergizing and freeing you up to go after your goals. So to do that, we will be covering a few items first, the key to success is having courage to be honest with yourself. Next, we will do an exercise that reveal, will reveal a new perspective on time management. And then finally, we will take a look at the bigger print, bigger picture of principles needed to achieve your goals. So if you want to get the most out of today's session, here's a few tips, have pen and paper ready or notepad on your, on your screen, you want this for the exercise we will be doing today and then write down your questions. I don't know if we will have time but write them down and feel free to email them to me. I will be including my email shortly as well as at the end of the presentation and more than happy to assist anybody who does have questions. We don't get to today, participate in today's session, especially with your chat. Go ahead um and engage with each other as well as the content by doing this.

You are actually giving yourself the opportunity to strengthen your own insight by teaching next, say no to multitasking and actually do this as much as possible in your life. It's actually not physically possible to multitask your mind isn't able to switch tasks that way. So what happens?

You miss out on the good stuff, give yourself these 40 minutes so that you can truly make the most out of today's session and then finally drop an email to me at Jamie at Jamie martin.coaching.com and I will send you a copy of my stop fading away five secrets to owning your life and shining bright.

Um It's a great little tool set to, to learn a little bit more about what we're up to today. I'll include my email later also in the chat. So why is this topic important to you? Please go ahead and share in the chat. Um What I often hear people say is that they really want to go after the big dreams in their lives, but find themselves always stuck in to do that. Don't move those dreams forward or that they want to feel like a real person and not someone that is just taking off required tasks in life. Yeah. Can that feeling of being on a hamster wheel. Um Hard to define success when having to juggle so many things and unreasonable expectations. Great. Thank you all for, for those. Um Oh, and a new single mom who's starting to get overwhelmed with everything you have to do. Yes, Alexis, that is such a real thing is being a new mom, a new parent, whatever it looks like and having a career also and, and trying to figure out the new, what's the newness of it and how do you get through it? So I've been there before. Everything. I'm going to teach you today is built from my own experience. Imagine this, you are getting married and super excited about your wedding on honeymoon.

When right before you were supposed to take off for your honeymoon, your boss proceeds to tell you that there is going to be a massive reorganization that will happen the two weeks you are gone and that's what started the next three years of massive overwhelm for me sitting in another country trying to pretend that conversation didn't happen in the middle of the US elections and the Cubs, I'm from Chicago and they were in the World Series for the first time in 100 years with me not being able to witness it as a longtime fan.

I didn't know it at the time, but that was the start of a series of huge life transitions over the next three years. I left that company, I started at a new one that was hedging to be acquired, bought a house, got a promotion to lead the team as the vice president of product and started in fertility treatments. And I found myself having to literally drag myself out of bed each day, preparing myself to get beat down by whatever situation was coming. My way at the office, I was the punching bag with infertility. I was the pin cushion at home. I was the forgetful wife who for the life of me could not remember to defrost meat. My goal was simply get through the day and I hated it. I hated living life this way. So something had to give, I wanted more from my life. But what I was doing was eating me alive. I started to ask myself one question, how do I want to live my life? And with that one question, I realized that I could make changes. I became clear on what was in my way. I got super supported and figured out how to overcome those obstacles and go after my dreams without sacrificing myself or my energy. The more I practice this, the more it developed into a set of key principles that I use with my clients.

It's the reason I continue to be able to create my life instead of having to just get through the day. It's also the reason my clients are looking at their lives in a completely new way and living the life they want from these key principles. I learned several things that I know. For sure one, anyone can have the time, energy and space to create the life they want. You must shift your mindset first. And when open to it, a thriving life of your dreams can be easy. Now, before we dig into the rest of the session, let's actually stop for a moment and give ourselves a ti a little bit of time to take a breath. We're all in in this presentation because we're overwhelmed in some way or form, way, shape or form. So let's give ourselves just about a minute to take a little breath. So I'm gonna ask you to close your eyes if you're a place to do. So, get really comfortable in your chair, feel your feet on the ground, wiggle your toes a little bit, roll your shoulders if it feels good, roll your head. Now take a deep breath in through the nose and a nice slow breath out through the mouth. Imagine your goals and dreams for your life, see yourself achieving them. What does it feel like? Feel yourself smile as you see and feel yourself in that moment. Now take one more deep breath in and a nice slow breath out.

Now that you're present to your goals and dreams, let's dig in the key thing to change your life and reach your goals is actually having courage, to be honest, with yourself. So think about it when you aren't honest with yourself about what is stopping you from achieving your goals, achieving your dream life, nothing is going to work. It's like trying to convince yourself that you have a minor cut that a band-aid will take care of when really you have a major wound that needs to be taken care of by a doctor. So what holds you back from being honest with yourself about the goals you have and aren't achieving what holds you back from being honest about your time? And are you willing to be honest with yourself? If your answer is no, you aren't ready to go after your dreams. And that's ok. Just knowing that you're not ready to look in the mirror at this moment in time is a huge step in order to move forward. But being honest with yourself is the key to unlocking the rest of what we are talking about today. So if you're ready to step into that honesty, there's no time like the present we are going to focus in on one key principle, uncover, we are going to pinpoint the roadblock that is in the way of going after your goals.

So take out a piece of paper or notepad on your computer and it's time to get real and excuse the language. But bitch a little so write out all of your complaints around your time and goals. What do you hate about it? What pisses you off. I'm gonna give you about a minute or two to do that. So, again, what are your complaints about your time and goals? What do you hate about them? I can give you about 30 more seconds to write it all up. So other people have the same amount of time as you do. People like Oprah or Michael Jordan or Ariana Huffington. What makes them achieve their goals while you flounder, they address each of the reasons that stop people from following through on their goals. They did it from them before they even were remotely suc successful. They started from that moment on and continued to do that. So there are a lot of reasons that we don't follow through on our goals. But the top five reasons I've seen occur the most you resist being supported. You don't practice boundaries, you don't know why you want this goal. You want it to be everything about the goal to be perfect. So you want everything about that goal to be perfect. You want to know all the details before you even remotely step forward and you want everyone to be happy. So you go that extra mile for them A K A you people please.

So now looking back at all of your complaints, what reason do each of your complaints align to write down the number next to them that goes to this, I'm gonna give you about a minute to do that. So you need to really address each of these issues. What we're gonna do is actually because we don't have time to go over all five. We're gonna dive into one topic in, in particular and that's resisting being supported. I find that that typically is the topic that we women fall into the trap of very often and are not as willing to open up into looking at. So you resist being supported also before I dive into this, even though we're going to dive into this particular topic, the way we're thinking about this and the questions we're asking can apply to all of five reasons. So for those of you who found themselves actually leaning into something else, a lot heavier, you can do the same type of technique to help you unpack that particular reason. So in terms of resisting, being supported, what about being supported? Has you resist it? Spend a minute to write down what comes up for you and go ahead and share in the chat, whatever it was again. What about being supported? Has you resisted? I'm gonna give you about a minute. Oh mom guilt that mom, mom guilt is real fear of rejection.

Asking for help is hard. Wanna do it myself. Not sure what to ask. That's a great one. There's vulnerability, awesome stubbornness. I love that one. That I, I'm, I'm full-fledged. Stubborn. I love it. Um Thank you all. So those are great. Those are all reasons that we do. Some of the ones that I see most often fear that by asking for help, we are showing we aren't good enough. So that piece of, I'm, I wanna do it myself. Oftentimes if we go a little deeper into that, it's because we're afraid that if we ask for help, we're actually showing there's a weakness on our side. Um, that vulnerability piece comes into play when we're not ready to be uncomfortable because sometimes asking for help is actually really uncomfortable, right? Especially we're not practiced in it. We also have the desire to prove we can do it on our own. So craving some that badge of honor of like I did it, I can do it. Um This really plays a lot in that mom guilt piece like I can do it all. We've got, we've, we're slowly breaking down the culture of moms have to be superheroes. But let's the more we actually lean into that, the more we can break that also what someone else mentioned this, not sure what kind of support you need or want.

Oftentimes I think that this is a great example of that is when we get into a place of grief, right? Someone dies in the family and people are like, well, just tell me what you need and we're sitting there going, huh? I actually have no idea what I need right now other than to curl up on the couch, right? So many of us don't find it easy to get supported yet alone, fully supported. So, are you ready to get supported? Let's go ahead and brainstorm a few ideas on how we can do that. So, share in the chat, what ideas you have about how you can get supported as well as how you can look deeper into the, the reason you fe you resist support. So while people are typing a few ideas that I've, I've had my clients do things like identify the person in your life who will allow you to be angry when things don't go, right. This is such a key one because oftentimes we have, we hold anger inside and we don't let it out. But by being able to connect with a person who we can just let that anger out and be the ugliness in that moment, it'll help us move forward and re relay. I think that's how you say your name.

I apologize if I mi mi mi mispronounce it, get a mentor or sponsor. Um I would add on to that, make sure that there's somebody who can be an accountability partner for you, somebody who can actually push you and push you that boundary and make sure that they follow up with you. Um I actually have an accountability partner who's separate from my mentor because we're in our work together. So we actually are holding each other accountable to moving things forward and, and making every week we touch base and say this is what I've done and it's a great way to be able to be in partnership with somebody and allow us to move things forward. Um, oh, and I love, I love that and Andrea find that person who will give you strength and accept your weaknesses. I would actually also that step forward allow you to, that they help you see your weaknesses as po potential gifts. What are the gifts that come from that? Um Also identify the person who give you space to cry.

You know, one thing that we have in our world today is that there's so much energy around the, the vulnerability and the crying and whether or not we women can show up and cry in our space, allow find that person who will allow you to do that, whether that is somebody personally, somebody who's not, you know, in your professional or somebody who is in your professional space.

I had that when I was going through IVF, I was in the middle of, you know, my corporate career. Well, the first time I was going through IVF and I made sure I had two or three women who, if something I needed, I could go to them and know that I could cry. And it was so nice to have that space, that space while I was in the office to be able to trust that vulnerability and know it wasn't gonna impact who I was and showing up as a leader as um you know, the product manager, I wanted to be so having that and creating space for that is great on top of that, who will help celebrate wins with you?

So, mentors are great for that. Sponsors are great for that. But make sure you have that, that person who's willing to celebrate with you also point blank, asked for specific support. So a great example of this in, in a place to play is when you know, you like, if you know you're gonna get tense in a specific situation, somebody who will give you a cue. So I have this with my husband, I get really tense at times with my family and my husband will actually squeeze my leg and I've, I've given him permission to do this, squeeze my leg to make sure that I come back into my body and don't get revved up by whatever is going on around me.

And it's a great way to be able to be like, oh, this is what's happening. So specific support can look very much like I need this from you. I need a hug right now or I need a listening ear, you know, being able to ask for what you need in that moment. And for those who don't know what that looks like, just start practicing, asking for something and seeing what works for you, right? So for example, you may practice for a week, you know, and I'm just going to ask that I'm gonna ask somebody for a hug. Hm. Did that work for me? Did that really support me? No, or I'm gonna ask for a listening ear for a week and just try on different things that will help support you. So when I work with my clients, we look at these different areas of their life where they can get supported, we break down the walls that have them continue to resist building a support system that allows them to not only achieve their dreams and goals, but change their whole life.

So now that we have identified some of the ways that you are resisting your goals and resisting, getting supported. Let's actually move past that and get into that bigger picture. What is it? What, what do you need in order to really achieve what you want, looking at the bigger picture to finding the time to go after your dreams and goals. So with this next exercise, I'm going to define each of these elements and we're gonna keep it really simple. I want you to write down the name of the element and it'll be shown up on the screen and assess how clearly defined this is in your life. On a scale of 1 to 20 or 1 to 10. My apologies where one is low and 10 is high. Don't overthink this. This is the first number that pops in your head. Ok. What this assessment is, is to there to help us with is understand where you are right now with your goals. So, because there are things that are working great in your life, we're gonna see what element is working great and you're doing really good on and then there's gonna be some things that we want to move up a notch. So you're gonna discover which one it is right now and then you're gonna get to choose and focus in on which ones am I gonna lean into? Which ones am I gonna move up a notch?

Because when we look at all of it, at the same time, it often feels more overwhelming. So we're gonna look and see how to identify that one element that we're gonna focus in on. Ok? So the first one is discover when you know your goals and the why behind them, you know, you are going after goals that are aligned with your overall purpose in life. It gives you courage and confidence to put yourself out there. So are you clear about the goals that truly matter to you on a scale of 1 to 10? Are you clear about the goals that truly matter to you? Next? Is focus? What goal or goals are you going to go after first? What are the key milestones for achieving those goals? What are the actions to achieving your goals having this in place allows you to move forward without feeling like you're throwing spaghetti at the wall. So on a scale of 1 to 10, do you know what your priorities are for your goals? Next is imagine what will life look like after you have achieved your goal? How will you feel what will be in your life? That wasn't before, what won't be in your life that wasn't before or was before having this image is an anchor that really connects you towards your goals. It's how we're able to keep moving forward and keep that momentum. How are you doing?

Imagining what life will look like when you have reached your goals on a scale of 1 to 10? Next is uncover the exercise we just did today is the start to uncovering what is standing in the way of your goals? So what other roadblocks are you creating that are stopping you from reaching your goals? What thoughts are unhelpful? What beliefs are holding you back on a scale of 1 to 10. How confident are you in uncovering these roadblocks as you move towards your goals? Next is re invent.

Uncovering is just the first piece of the puzzle. You need to make peace with your unhelpful thoughts and then re invent those thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back. So on a scale of 1 to 10, how are you doing building new thoughts and beliefs that serve you better? Next is practice. We all know that practice builds muscle memory, right? When we go to the gym, our muscles start to learn and they start to really understand it. We have to do the same thing with this work. So what are the practices you are taking on to h, to help actually embed those new thoughts and beliefs as part of you? Remembering to let go of the old beliefs and leaning into the new, how are you doing at sticking to those practices and finally action. This is what we all think about first when going after our goals, action, that first step, the first week, the first month. So how are you at taking action with that first step? Maybe the fifth step step and all the steps beyond on a scale of 1 to 10. How are you at holding yourself accountable to taking, to continuing taking steps towards those goals? Great. What did you learn? And what surprised you?

I'd love to hear what people got from that. Um, looking at that bigger picture in the chat. So go ahead and put some stuff in the chat. Oh, good at the first step. And the rest is a struggle. Yeah, I've, I've definitely heard quite a bit on this one and I've heard that before. I've also heard someone, someone say they weren't good at any of them. Not one of them, they were like, wow, it was a splash of, it was like a splash of ice water on her face and she realized the the reason behind why her goal, her goals and dreams weren't coming forward. Oh, I struggle with the imagine piece or all, all of the goals are, all of them are good into, except for action, action we're good at. Um, and that's funny because action is one of those things where we can be really good at action and still not achieve our goals because all the rest actually can have the action, sabotage ourselves. Um Imagine is very high and the rest is terrible. Yeah. Meg that's, that's a great one. Being able to have knowing that we're we're great at imagining. Now we have to get in and understand what's the why behind it so we can build out the rest of them.

So I would definitely focus in for anybody who's really good at. Imagine, take that look at at both the discover and then the focus piece and see how you can actually start to build that out. Great. Thank you everyone for sharing. Now, putting all of this together can really make a difference. One of my clients, Sonica is a great example of this. She was looking to launch her own coaching business, move to another country, get certified in Ayurveda and find love when we started working together. Sonica scores super high on focus. She can create the perfect plan with all the steps to get to her dream and all the milestones. But then she stumbles, she hesitates in action and finds her constantly herself, constantly in that planning stage of her dreams. So she had two things that were really getting in her way. One she felt she had to be an expert before sharing her experiences with the world. Next, she wasn't being honest with herself about why she set and held the timeline she had for achieving each of her goals. So we worked through both of these together and she made a few major realizations. The first she already, she was holding out for a role model to emulate. Before serving the women, she wanted to serve ambitious single Indian immigrant, working women. And then second, she was afraid to change her timeline for moving to another country and everything.

Um She was up to because she was afraid of what others would think. So even with this being in the early stages of the COVID pandemic, she was still judging herself and what other people were going to judge if she couldn't hit, moving to another country. Once we were able to dig into these fears, two things came up for her and things really shifted. She started serving the women. She wanted to serve the most by creating an eight week coaching space for them. She chose to become the role model she desired when she came to America. So instead of waiting for that role model, she stepped into it, this allowed her to release the pressure around when she needed to accomplish each of her goals and she moved, she just in last spring. So spring of 2020 or fall of 2021 she actually made the move to Canada. So it was a year after her timeline, but it was exactly the time and space she needed to make it happen. So what's next for you? What is one bite size action you will take from what you learned today. So this is something you're gonna do in the next week, write it down where you know, you will see it and be inspired to take action. Ok?

I usually recommend putting it on the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror because those are places we go to now bite size is great. But let's go ahead and imagine something bigger. So go ahead and put down your pen again and close your eyes. Take a deep breath in and a nice slow breath out. I'd like you to imagine creating your future from a place fully connected to you, your heart and your brilliance you have the path you are taking or you know, you have the time and space to go after your goals each day. You know, the path you're taking, you know what steps to take and are able to take them with confidence, consistency and ease. You start to see progress towards your goals and it feels effortless. You are confident that what was once a dream goal is now becoming a reality and you didn't have to sacrifice yourself or other priorities in your life to achieve it. In fact, you have more time to take care of yourself to fill your cup and regenerate on a consistent basis. Your life takes on a new pace that you embrace with open arms as you continue to move towards your dreams in achieving your goals.

Now, go ahead and take a deep breath in and a nice slow breath out. If that's a vision you can get excited about. There is one thing you need to identify that's really important when you think about your goals, who do you have in your corner that has accomplished what you want to accomplish and is available to help you when you need it most. So we talked about mentors, we've talked about sponsors, be very clear as to who this person is, make sure that they're actually there for you when you need it most. So for you, for those of you who already have a coach or a mentor, um Awesome, great. I love it. But for those of you who don't, I do invite you to consider working with me. This isn't for everyone. But if you are done settling for less than you deserve and are ready to go after your goals and start creating the life you want. I'm offering a complimentary breakthrough call to gain clarity and explore working together. So this is great. If you're feeling stuck and not sure why know you need some support but don't know what it looks like or are ready to take your life and career to the next level. It is complimentary, but there are, they are limited in number and intended for you. If you're willing to invest in yourself, you're deciphers, decisive and driven and ready to create your goals.

So to schedule that, go to J Martin Discovery call.co and with that, we do have some questions and I know I saw some chatter or time for questions, I saw some chatter about procrastination. So I'm gonna quickly kind of scroll up and see if I can see what that was. Um But if there are other questions, please let me know uh procrastination in terms of one of the goals being something that you want to do and still find yourself hovering or pushing it off. So this is one of those where I would actually dive a little deeper into what it is that you're resisting. So what is it about studying that has you pushing away? Um That when you start to dive into that piece a little bit more, you'll start to realize what you are actually resisting in the studying piece. It may not be about the certificate. It may, it may be something like you're not really sure you want the certificate. Maybe you're afraid that um the studying, you know, that you're not going to be able to achieve it or there's something else behind it. Uh how do I find my why? So this is a great one.

I'm sure some of you have heard of uh Simon SEK, he talks about the five whys and usually he talks about it from the perspective of sales, but it's a great place to actually think about your why with a goal. So depending on what it is. So if you're looking at your bigger picture of life, this, this can work. I of often start with saying, look at it from one smaller goal so that you can practice that. But actually ask yourself, well, why am I going for this? So as we were just talking about a certification, what what is it about the certification? I want, why do I want this? And then ask again, why is this important? Why is this important? Why is this important? When you go further down? It's very much like in product management, when you start to ask your clients why they want something and you die far enough down, you find out what the real reason is. So that's a good, easy practice in order to start to understand what your why is behind a specific goal. Now, bigger life goals, I usually recommend starting to actually look around you and seeing what is in your space, what excites you, what lights you up so that you can start to see where that connection piece is.

That takes a lot more time for that bigger picture goal, um, or bigger picture purpose piece. Um, Alexis, give me a thumbs up if that, that helps you out. Um, I feel held back by money. How do I break these through these money? Is such a big thing for a lot of us and it's something that we really need to start looking at the stories around and what we hold our own money. Um, and so I would start with really looking at uh sorry, I'm getting this. I don't know if everybody else got this notification, but I'm stuck. So I'm not really sure if you can hear me. Oh, hopefully you can still hear me. Um For the money one definitely dive deeper into it and see what stories you hold around money because that's where you're gonna wanna first look and start to do that. How would you advise um to combat fear, fear of failure or fear that the failures will make others think less of you? So one of the first things um OK, 22 things, one being first start making small decisions that you would normally ruminate on and this is just the practice and being able to build that, that decision making piece around things.

So um it, it's about strengthening that muscle around making decisions and not overthinking them. The next piece is really start to look at what is it that you're truly afraid of. So what I what has you worried about? What ma what others think like what, what it is. Sorry, let me try that sentence again. What has you afraid of? What other people think of you? What has you holding on to that piece of it? Um There's a lot we can do, but oftentimes we really have to dig into that failure piece and what it is about the other people that really lean into it. I would say also practice seeing, you know, who it is that you're most worried about and why you care so much about what they think of what is what you do with your life and how you do it. Um I would say also that one takes a lot of digging, so be prepared to do a lot of journaling around that. It's, it's a place where you're really gonna want to go deep into it. Um And, and really start to practice or start to dive into what it looks like so you can start to build up from there. So we are out of time. Um But with that, I thank you all for joining this session.

If you have other questions that show up for you later on, please feel free to email me. Also. Again, everybody is um welcome to a discovery call or follow me on linkedin more than happy to connect on linkedin or Facebook or Instagram. So I hope you all have a wonderful rest of this conference and looking forward to seeing what you all do with your careers. Talk to you soon.