We are so glad that you've joined us today. We are Jim and Jerry and Bore and Legacy C three. We coach train and speak on personal growth, leadership and team development. But today we're going to be talking about mindset. That's where our focus will be.So thanks for joining us for this session. We are so glad you're here a running question for many women across many industries has always been, am I enough? Now, the reasons for the uptick in these thoughts could be coming from several avenues. Among them being discussions around pay equality, the rise of women leaders in many industries dominated traditionally by men, the prevalence of social media in our lives. Adding to that comparison game, the fact that less than 50 years ago, the majority of women were secretaries, nurses, teachers or stay at home moms and then they weren't even valued very well. I remember as a child that if um a boy was taking charge of a group of Children, he was often called a leader. You know, they say, look at him, he he'll be a great leader. But if a girl did the same thing, she was called Bossy. I was one of those girls called bossy. So all of these can be contributing factors to the belief that I am. Not enough.

Yes. And we talk about mindset and we want you to hear this loud and clear. You are enough. You are enough. I am enough. Not that we've arrived, not that we've accomplished. Not that we've finished by any means we need to keep growing but realize that we are enough, we believe that we made significant strides in the last 50 years. Uh at least in some of our culture um in North America. But I believe around the world, we're seeing more and more women in significant leadership roles in some really high profile positions, responsibilities, corporations, politics, all of those kind of things. But we still have a ways to go. We continue to see that and we see the difference.

We've personally been able to witness that in the opportunities of working with organizations and companies and seeing those women in those responsibilities, taking those significant roles. Congratulations. Thank you. And let's keep helping one another to continue to grow. We're seeing advances in all industries across all uh across all around the world, across the lines. Yes. So thank you. But just the power of influence in this conference is something amazing.

It is. So why are we still fighting the voices in our mind that say we are not enough? Well, the answer really begins with knowing who we are and understanding our dreams. There's a song by Lauren Dale called you say that we really like and it says this, I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough. Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up. Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low remind me once again, just who I am because I need to know.

I love that both of those that that first line, I keep fighting those voices in my mind. And then coming back to, I need to know who I am. Our dreams are what drive us to the precise direction to something that answers the question. Why am I here? Our dreams are born out of patience, those of interest and actions that we would even do if no one paid to sue. Do you recognize those that purpose? Those passions? I love what Coretta Scott King said? Every girl has a dream with her name on it. So what is your dream today? What are you about? What is it that you're answering? Why am I here? Not the role that you do? Not the responsibilities, but why am I here? And what can I do to make sure that I know I'm enough and I continue to go on that path to reach that dream. What just grabs your inner being and, and just really fuels your passion. Now, some of you may have come in to this conference already on that right path and feeling good about that. We celebrate that with you, but many of us are still searching are still seeking, but you have a dream. How are you doing to accomplish those with that passion?

And that purpose is that

song really resonates with you, as you say by Lauren Dale. First, I saw a question in the chat. Now, many of you may have uh now how many of you sorry have thought the reason for missing the path to reaching your dream as I'm not good enough or I'm not this or I'm not that we call these thoughts limiting beliefs because they stop us from reaching our potential. I don't think I can, I don't have opportunities. How many of you ever had that feeling at one time or another? Wherever you are, raise your hand, we're raising ours.

But we're here to remind you that you're not alone. We want you to know yourself and know that you are more than enough. Now, I said this, but I want you to hear it. You are not by yourself in those thoughts. We see and we understand and we experience those same thoughts at times and we all battle those a limiting belief can also be thinking, I'm the only one that has this thought I compare and look around and nobody else does, but I must be the only one and that's a limiting belief in of itself.

But we want you to hear you are more than enough. So to reach our dream, we must first be in the right state of mind. And that really starts with us to be in a position to fight for us with our mindset. Here's what I want you. Here's what we want you to hear. Once again, it is the mindset of the belief that you are being enough and that you know yourself, but continue to grow from there.

When I was at 28 years old, I was in a musical production and I invited my mother to it afterwards. I went up to her and she gave me a hug and she said, good job, sweetheart. And then nothing. And I realized I was standing there waiting for the rest of the sentence. You see in that moment I remembered and realized that every time before my mother had always said you did a good job, but there was always a but good job, but you could have hit the higher notes, a little cleaner, good job. But you forgot to clean your room. Good job. You should pause before delivering that line. Good job. You get it. Good job. But now I know my mother wasn't trying to hurt me. I understand that she was just trying to help me be better and we all need to continue to grow and be better. I get that. But that statement good job, but embedded itself in my subconscious and formulated how I saw myself that repeated scenario instilled a monologue in my mind of I can do a good job, but it will always need to be better. It will never be enough.

And somewhere along the line that translated to I will never be enough. This is who I become the woman hanging on to the butt. That was my identity and constructed the framework around everything I did. This mindset overflowed into my marriage into my work. I was always waiting for the but this limiting belief was holding me back from being all I could be the power this had over my confidence and strength seemed insurmountable. But it's not. You see if I could never be enough without a butt, not even enough, not even to reach the enough level, let alone ever get the confidence to reach the good or great. How was I going to grow? So what is the butt you need to let go of? Now, your butt may have been lodged in your brain with a different verbiage than mine.

A lot of places to go there. We won't. But J makes a great point. I for example, was the youngest in my family. Uh I was the youngest uh with two older brothers. You know what I still am. But uh in that family, I was the youngest and I was the least considered being the baby of a no name, nobody family in a no name. No small rural town and the words that were spoken to me and about me and others were, what will we ever amount to? What will you ever accomplish? You don't think you can do that when that dream was revealed, how do you think you can do that? What makes you think you're better than the rest of us? And those words really impacted and challenged me to the point of questioning. Will I ever get out of here in any shape or form? What will this look like? So I know that so many of us it your butt or your limiting belief, maybe you're too smart, you're too dumb. You've been too little, too big, too tall, too short, too good, too bad or it costs too much when there's no way we can do that or you will never accomplish that big of a dream. Be realistic.

We heard those comments before several of you already said, I identified with J in the same and understanding that there is for all of us that but at least one, if not multiple of those buts in our brain that have caused us to convince ourselves we are not enough

looking at the butt. You need to let go of what are the truths you can replace that with and included because for example, my butt was I am not good enough. My truth is I am good enough because I am strong, intelligent, a learner, capable a leader motivated, have something of value to share and have an overwhelming desire to help people live their best life.

Knowing yourself is about really being what we call, talk about self-aware. And a lot of people talk about being self aware and it is good, but we believe it's not enough knowing yourself. And I want to say this is also learning to value yourself. And as I value me, I begin to understand and want to value others. And so it's not a selfish thing but know yourself is becoming self-aware. But here's what we say, self apply. Once you're self-aware is where the change happens. We need to be self-aware. But once we're self-aware, we need to self apply. In fact, I I state it like this, the the self-aware is really a realization. I realize something about me, but the self apply is the phrase I've coined the word I've coin is action. So I realize something but then I need to take action to change that mindset that thought whatever that might be to help us to be different. Self-aware is good, but self apply brings change. We have to team hear me, we have to change the self talk. We have to change the words we're saying to ourselves, the people that we're listening to that self talk and the others that we've heard for years and that begins with the right attitude. Attitude is a choice. We say it all the time. But intentionality is key for us. We don't always get it right. But when we're intentional about a right attitude about our mindset, it helps us. So that means we need to be aware and then begin to see those changes. We have to start with changing the subconscious talk.

This is really into the neuroscience and neuroplasticity that so many researchers and scientists have done and we appreciate learning from them. We're not going to go into the details of all of that. But I just want to make a couple of points interesting enough. We've learned that now or before the age of seven, we have uh we have to accept all that goes into the subconscious. We cannot block those thoughts or words spoken to us. So when we hear those, they come in, when I learned this first thing I did was I called all of our three grown Children and said, I'm really sorry. Now, I'd say that tongue in cheek, but I'm sure there were some statements we made that they heard that could have caused them limiting beliefs. And so we need to unlearn some of those things. Some of us I've had to, we all have to unlearn some of those things and start again making sure that we continue to grow and change. But we also now as adults have to work on those thoughts, those ideas that self talk to not allow those into subconscious. These voices of negativity will never leave. Now, I believe there may be reduced. But I want you to hear we talked about it, not being alone. All of us will still battle that no matter what, how good or successful or significant we are.

There's always gonna be that challenge. It may be less, but it's always gonna be there and we have to fight for that. So how do we do that? Here's some basics that we've learned that helped us identify that voice, recognize it, then respond to these thoughts and self talk to not allow them to go into our subconscious brain and become limiting beliefs for us. You see, we can't prevent what flies into our brain, but we can prevent what we allow to build a nest there.

Listen, this is so important. Our negative thoughts form our habits and beliefs which affect our actions, moving toward the same less than optimal results again and again, rinse and repeat, but you can change that. You can bet on yourself. You can believe in yourself. Do you truly believe you are enough? So if you do reprogram that belief system, you see, you can change your beliefs to change your actions, to change your results.

So what are your go to thoughts positive or negative? Now, I tend to be a positive person, but I still have to grab a hold of these and I don't care whether you're an optimist or a pessimist or realist, whatever you categorize yourself as we all battle these and I have to remember, we said intentionality, we all battle this. We believe that we need to change our self talk, choose the right attitude to affect our beliefs about us. About me, about you. Attitude is a choice. What attitude will you choose? Here's something that we have to learn and continue to challenge and grow in. We need to be masters of our circumstances and decisions, not the victim mentality. Attitude is a choice.

You know, research shows the success of top performers can be attributed to 85% attitude traits and only 15% skill set. Yet very few people take the time to develop their attitude. We love the story of Deborah Se Deborah Searle. She and her husband accepted a challenge to cross the Atlantic Ocean 3300 miles in a 23 ft plywood boat that they built themselves only two weeks into the trip. Her husband was removed from the challenge due to some severe anxiety. And in that moment, Deborah chose to continue on her own, the six week trip, which should normally be six weeks lasted for 3.5 months. And did I mention she was alone? How did she do that? Was she focused on three words? Choose your attitude? What do you need to say to yourself every day until you believe it?

What are those statements? What are those affirmation or im statements that you need to write down? We encourage you right now to write down some words, some statements that you believe. If you said these every day, it could transform your thinking and put you in a right frame of mind to move forward and reach your dreams. We do this personally, but we encourage you write those statements down, read those memorize them and go over those, continue to write those affirmation statements.

We need to believe ourselves. We must change our attitude and self talk and surround ourselves with people who believe we can achieve and succeed. It's important to find people who believe in you and support you and encourage you. We all listen to somebody who are you listening to now? Maybe right now, you don't feel like you have that tribe and you can't see a way out of the negative. Maybe life is extra difficult right now with aging parents or in a dead end job or a personal crisis or I don't know a pandemic. You can choose to move forward when you value yourself. Speak your value out loud, seal it within you. Now, you may have joined this session today in a good place mentally and that's great. However, we all face doubts on our bad days and you may be here today believing you're enough, not enough. That's your current reality, but we're here to say that you can change it. I love this statement I heard recently there is more to your story than the chapter you are in turn the page

Winston Churchill. I love this quote. As we conclude said, history will be kind to me because I intend to write it myself. Now, we don't get it right every day. But we have decided we are gonna write our story rather than have our story written about us. We want you to write your story, a story worthy of telling others and be told about you, write your story each and every day so that history will be kind to you because you wrote it yourself. We thank you so much for taking the time to be here and be a part of us. Here's what we wanna say. Choose to write what history will say about you. What? But do you need to let go of to believe you are enough? What? But do you need to let go of to know that you are enough? You can choose your attitude and change your thinking. Thanks so much again for joining us. We'd love to connect with you. If we can help in any way and resource you, you should have our information. We love what we do and we love trying to assist others in becoming more and reaching their greater potential.