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Defining Success: A Personal Journey

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening everyone. I am Kim Travian, the CIO at Oldcastle APG. Today, I have the amazing opportunity to share my personal journey towards success. I invite you to ask questions as we embark on this journey together.

Understanding Success vs. Society's Expectations

A few years ago, while sifting through social media, I found a post describing a successful woman as someone with a meaningful career, a clean house, home-cooked dinners, well-groomed children, a hot body and a great sex life. It humorously insinuated that a woman could only pick two of these. A wave of anger washed over me because it felt as though a stranger on social media was judging my success.

I decided to track my life based on this criteria for two weeks. The results were disappointing. I realized I was failing at fulfilling some of these expectations. Moreover, I realized that fulfilling them was not what defined my success. Social media had given me an unrealistic definition of success, which only resulted in disappointment.

Realizing the True Parameters of Success

In an attempt to understand the meaning of success, I approached women in my circle who have lived their lives to the fullest. When asked if they felt successful, their answer was a solid “No.”. This revelation led to many valuable discussions about societal pressures, expectations, and often-taboo subjects — like how they truly felt about fulfilling their roles.

These conversations allowed the realization that success needs a different definition — one that works individually for each of us, and more importantly, for the next generation. We agreed that our identities are not defined merely by the tasks we execute, but by the purpose behind what we do, our engagement with people, and the joy that our passions bring to our lives.

Defining Purpose, Engagement, and Passion

  • Purpose refers to having a clear strategy about what we aim to achieve in our lives. It comes from our personal aspirations, not expectations imposed by others.
  • Engagement interprets deep connections with others and being present in the moment. It is important to remember that 'we' are also 'people', and self-engagement is just as important.
  • Passion encapsulates the thrill, joy, and energy in performing every task. It is the glue that holds together our purpose and engagement with people.

My personal 'Purpose' includes raising strong women, being financially independent, driving value for my company, and serving the underprivileged. 'Engagement' starts at home, where I hold priority over the other circles of connection. 'Passion,' for me, comes from my love for food and serving the community. This method of analyzing our actions in life helped me function better and feel successful.

The Transient Nature of Success

In contrary to popular beliefs, success is inconsistent. We all have days when we feel unsuccessful, but that’s just a part of the journey. I realized the importance of regular check-ins on my Purpose, Engagement, and Passion. I embarked on a weekly self-assessment regimen, which gave me a clearer perspective on the dynamic nature of these three basic constituents of life.

Key Takeaways

To wrap it all up, the key practices to establish your individual definition of success are:

  1. Understanding 'Having it All' isn't about achieving everything outside us, but realizing our unique purpose in life.
  2. Success isn't linear or stable. It goes up and down, and it can be measured by tracking our Purpose, Engagement, and Passion.
  3. Building a community of supportive people who have been through or are going through similar experiences and can provide meaningful advice and support.

Please feel free to reach out to me via LinkedIn or email to continue this discussion. I’m eager to learn from your experiences and join you on your journey

So, remember, there's always a different perspective to look at things. Don't lose hope, and keep going!


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