Very nice. So nice to see you. Uh get to get to meet all of you here. That's fantastic.So, my name is P Nanjiani and um I am more well known in the United States and in the world as an executive coach and I write books on uh on leadership with my fourth one coming up very soon. And uh it's really wonderful to be a part of this event and talk to all of you on a topic that is extremely close to my heart called take charge and lead. So I have only 20 minutes with all you wonderful people. So I'm gonna give you a little bit of uh uh you know, we'll talk to you about uh some of the crucial elements of this topic and then hopefully you will leave with some actionable items to, to walk away with. Ok. So, um here's what I want you to do because we are all active on the chat. I want you to fill this chat room with a little bit of energy and if all of you can just write down in the chat box today on word, I am unstoppable. Or if you can just write down I am unstoppable that that's going to fill up this complete session with energy if you can just put down, I am unstoppable. Oh, fantastic. Ok. I'm just looking at the chat box here. Hm. Great. Ok.

Now, you know, the reason I asked you to do this, my friends is not because I want to create any motivation or rather factor here. The reason I asked you to do this is because uh you know, 18 years back when I left corporate America to do what I am doing, the more I began to associate and coach some of these highly successful leaders. And the more I delve deeper into the subject of leadership very early on in my career, I realized that the real game of leadership is completely internal. And so how far you are going to reach in your career, how much you're going to accomplish where you will take yourself? And the company is really dependent, not just on your hard work, your efforts, your skills or your uh uh you know, abilities, but predominantly I found that if your success, your growth is dependent on three major leadership elements. Well, number one, how do you lead yourself?

How effectively can you lead yourself? Number two, how well can you manage your thought process and leverage it to your advantage? And number three, how quickly can you change your behavior patterns and adapt to the ever evolving complex business world? And So the more alignment you have of these three elements, the more you are going to be able to reach to where you want. So in this little time I have, I'm not going to take you through any slides or anything. We will chat on the chat box. I'm just going to coach you. So this is like a team coaching for me where I'm going to speak to you and share with you my own ins and see how it can help you. So let me just get to know each of you a little better if you can just put a Yes, yes in the chat box, if you feel that you are at that point, you know, where you want to do something bigger in your career life and you want to make a significant difference. How many Yes yeses would we have in the room? So I'll take it from there like I said, just do this as a life coaching from my end. Ok. Lots of yes, yes is coming. So you know these yes, yes. Is of yours. It reminds me of, I'll take you back in time. So one of the major things that I get asked, especially during book signings and everything is that pile. If there was one quality that you would say leaders must develop, especially women, what would that quality be?

And if I was to come out of the screen and do a live session, like I'm doing, you know, for, for many years, I would tell you that one of the main qualities that every woman has to build in the workforce, especially in, in the corporate world is your ability to be able to take charge and lead.

And I'll be honest here, my friends in my own life, I learned this quality in a little hard way. So I'll take you back in time. The year was uh 2004 when everything changed uh inside of me. So I had completed in 1996 or something. I had completed my post graduation in human resources. I started finding jobs in corporate America and I wanted to join a mid size firm. So while I was looking out, I, I got an opportunity in an ad agency. Everything was good. The pay was good. I was beginning to live the American dream and everything was going well. The team was nice. The only problem I had was with my boss now, not that she wasn't good at her work. In fact, when it came to deliver results to the clients, she was excellent at it. But when it came to managing people, oh, she was one leader that you absolutely did not want around you. And so every single day there were frictions between her and me. Every single day, there was some issues, some problems and I somehow continued. But after one year of this type of toxic relationship, you know, at your work. You don't bear it. I decided to do what any of us would have done. I submitted my resignation letter. Absolutely. With no idea of what's, what's, what, what new job I would be in. Because at that time I remember the economy was quite down because of the uh internet bubble crash.

So, uh after a couple of days I get a call from the vice president, he tells me that, you know, you have to, you know, why don't you, you know, why don't uh we give you another department, another role and the CEO of the company is happy with your uh work. So we'll just see where you take it at. And I, I just grabbed it because I had absolutely nothing else on my plate. So things went well, I got into leadership roles and I still remember the year of 2004 when we were going to break for Thanksgiving holidays and the CEO of the company, he decided that he will meet one on 15 minutes with every member from the team, from his leadership team. So I was super excited because I had never had this opportunity. So as soon as he walked in, I, I looked at him and I said, uh Mr James, thank you so much for helping me to grow and move ahead in my corporate life. You know, I I'm really glad to be doing uh what I am. So he looks at me and he says, well, thanks. But I don't think I deserve this appreciation pile because I haven't helped you to grow. In fact, you have got yourself stuck and I really worry about your success in corporate America. And I didn't know where to look what you say. I think I, the complete enthusiasm and smile vanished out of my, of my face.

And as he took a seat, he told me, he said, listen to this carefully file. So I sit, sit, sit across him and he looks straight into my eye and he says, he looks into my eyes and he says, you know, by each of us in our corporate life in our work life are going to face challenges. He said, you just name the challenges, the obstacles. It's going to be your way, you're going to face discrimination, you're going to face problems, you're going to be passed over for promotions, you're going to have budget problems, you're going to have the economy fail you.

He said, just name it and none of us is going to escape from it. He said, but by you know what, each of us will also be given five, each of us will also be given four options in our career world. And he said, each of us has a right to make that choice. He said, option number one, you just walk, heads down, ignore everything else, take your salary and keep going. Option number two, you quit, resign, go find something else. Option number three, you, you, you know, you, you try to adjust to everyone, you make everyone around you happy. But at the same time, every single day, you come to work in a state of frustration. And option number four, you make yourself so powerful. You raise your leadership level to such an extent that outside circumstances and people cannot overpower you. Is that by everything in your life in your career life from now on will depend on the options that you choose. If you want to be great at what you do. If you want to make a significant difference in your career life, you have to change the way you think you have to change your options because, because f it's easy to think, average, it takes courage to think something exceptionally different and that's what will set you apart.

He said p you're going to experience your share of failures and success. You're going to go through those struggles. There will be rejections, there will be discriminations, those women who finish strong will emerge as winners in that industry. Five minutes over. He took leave, wished me happy Thanksgiving and left. And at that time, it did not hit me hard. But as I left corporate America, as I started to do what I'm doing, I truly understood the value of option number four. And today I can tell you this, my friends for any of us who have said, oh, yes, yes, that we want to achieve something significant in our career life. We won't get there. I can be brutally honest and tell you you have no other option. But option number four to choose, you make yourself so powerful. You raise your leadership level to such an extent that outer circumstances and people cannot overpower you. You emerge as a winner in your industry. So I really want you to reflect and take a pause here, my friends and think about it when you're faced with difficult times, when you're passed over for promotions, when you have a conflict with your management, when there are struggles at your home and the office, when you're pulled in all directions and when no one in your family, when no one at your workplace understands you and your purpose, my friend, which option do you choose for most of the time?

This is something you want to self reflect and I underline the word most of the your choice is going to depict. Your choice is going to depict the way you think and whatever you think is going to lead to actions that my friends. Option number four is nothing but your ability to take charge and read, which, which simply means that it is so imperative for women to understand this, it simply means that you have mastered the art of not allowing outside circumstances and outside pressures and, and and and behaviors of people to dictate your outcome.

It means you have built yourself inside. You know, I I had introduced in the corporate world and many of my books talk about inner leader, you have developed your inner leadership powers, you've developed your inner leadership comp and for most of us, this one element proves to be the most difficult to accomplish. And I am extremely grateful in my life that this dialogue took place between James and myself. Because I can be honest here in this room and say had this incident had this dialogue not taken place. I would never have been named as the only women of Indian descent to be a leadership speaker, executive coach and write books on leadership in a completely white male dominated industry. And I share this with you, my friends not to impress you, but to express to you the power of take charge and lead option. Number four. I know II I don't have much time to talk about it, but I definitely want to leave you with some food of thought of. What do you need to take charge of? If there is only one thing I can tell you during this interaction of me today.

And if I can quote you on this, I would say you have to know how to take charge of your state of being. And what do I mean by that in the chat box? Please tell me how many of you. OK. How many of you. Ok. Just imagine this. You are watching TV, you are relaxed, you're having your, your favorite drink. You're watching TV, watching, you know, one of the nice shows that you are always waiting for and as you are doing that you're relaxed, someone comes and snatches the remote and changes the channel and now they are watching what they want to watch. I want you to put in the chat box at that time. What do you feel like doing when someone takes that remote is now watching what they want to watch at that time? Be very honest and tell me, what do you feel like doing, take the remote back? Ok. What else? Feel suppressed? OK. I feel like grabbing the remote back. Walk away. I feel angry. OK. Oh, not that when I turn off the electricity itself, OK, turn off the TV itself. They then tell them not to do it again. That is so true. That is so true. You know, whatever you are writing and you're not going to watch. Uh OK. That's nice. Ok.

Now that, you know, just think of this in the real world at the workplace, we have given the remote to everyone around us and we aren't even conscious of taking it back and we have given it in many ways. But think about the incidences where you wanted to speak up in the room, but you did not think about the incidences in your life in your career life where you wanted to share some opinion, but you felt that the management might not like it. So you kept quiet, you felt that you are not that knowledgeable. You allowed someone's designation and position to hold you back. You know how many times you have said, oh, yes, when you actually intended to say, oh no. And then you went back, sat down on the desk and said, oh, I really wish I had said no, I have so much on my plate, but I still ended up saying yes because I wanted to please someone. All of that shows that your remote is not with you. And most of us, the remote is not with us because we suffer from something. What I had written in my books, it is called a ast approval and attention seeking disorder. We all have it. We all have it. None of us are, are, are away from it. Men or women. All of us have it. I coach more men than women. So I know that even men go through it. But the degree varies.

Women tend to have this attention and this, you know, this validation problem a little more than, than the men. So you want to make sure that you have the remote because highly successful leaders, they know the consequences of giving that remote to someone else. When you give that remote at work to someone else, it drops your energy level because you're going to be disturbed from inside. It's going, like you said, anger and suppression and what is all of this? It's going to disturb you internally. You're going to not feel energized in less energy, you're going to work less, you're going to have less productivity. Your actions are going to be mediocre. Your results are going to be mediocre and then it's the same old you doing the same old thing and wondering, I am working so hard every day. Why are things not going my way? And when things don't go by your way and you're passed on for promotions and things are not going the way you want to. Now, what's going to happen? Oh, you know what, let's blame it on discrimination. Let's blame it on my boss. Let's let's blame it on the economy. And that's the reason I was glad I had that dialogue with that with James because had that dialogue not been taken place. I would have blamed everything on discrimination. It was easy for me to do it.

Women of color just blame it on discrimination. I never blamed it on discrimination. I never felt any discrimination. And I'm saying that loud and clear because I coach so many leaders across the globe and I always tell them, learn to learn to choose option. Number four, learn to keep that remote with you. Take charge of your state of being every single day when you wake up, just check which state of being, there are three states of being my friend. Number one, a Survivor State where you feel ok. I'm getting my work done. Everything is fine. I'll just keep going and I'll just do as instructor. Just, just keep going. Survivor, I'm surviving the layoffs. I'm surviving the job. I, I'm, I'm just surviving. You know, things are fine. I'm getting my check option. You know, the state state of being number two is the thriving where you feel. Oh I'm doing more. I I'm, I'm growing but at the same time, there's a plateau that you hit. But at the same time, I'm, I'm fine. I'm doing good. Many of us are, are in the surviving and thriving state of P winning state of pink. Now that's where the difference is. Very few women come up there, many, very few men also come up there winning state of being, that's the entire thing I coach people on. How do you make sure that you change your thinking, your behaviors and come to that state where you're relentless where you have become a person who is moving ahead with purpose. So here's something I want to leave you with my friends. OK.

As we are coming to the, to the end of it, I want to leave you with something here. How many of you if you knew? So something for self reflection, if you knew that your remote was with you, you would have created something different. Something bigger than what you are currently doing. That's number one, number two, who has your remote, who all have you given it to me? Given it to how many circumstances and people are in charge of your remote. And number three, every single day, what decision are you? Which, which state of being do you want to operate in survivors? Drivers or winners? I wish I could tell you how to do it. I know time is running out. So here's how I would like to wrap this up. My friends. The, you know, our corporate world teaches us to put our hands out for everything. Give me more promotions, love, respect, you know, designations, everything. It's time. You do not put your hands out because this is a hand of a Survivor. If you want to have a hand of a winning leader, you have to know how to take charge and lead and how to show up every single day in the state of being that you want. So with this, my friends, I would like to put an end to this session of mine and I'm really, really glad that you all have been able to join them. If there are any questions, I would love to take it.

Otherwise you can connect with me on linkedin and follow me on Insta for anything more on this. Uh I, I keep putting out a lot of notes on uh on leadership. So thank you so much. It's a pleasure to have been of service.