(Not So) Hard Conversations: How To Give and Celebrate Actionable Feedback by Alexandria Butler

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Unlocking the Art of Giving Receivable Feedback

Hello everyone, I am Lexie B! Today, we will delve into the art of giving receivable feedback. This skill is especially vital in the workplace, where feedback aimed at growth not only benefits the recipient but also contributes positively to the overall work environment.

Why is Receivable Feedback Important?

Feedback is often given but not received due to the method of presentation. This article aims to explore the science of giving receivable feedback, using my experiences and insights as a freedom fighter, founder of the online solidarity group Sister Circle, Black Women in Tech, and a chief of staff in the tech industry.

Understanding Feedback and Its Importance

Nikki Giovanni, renowned poet and activist, is known for a famous quote that summarizes the essence of this piece: "The unwillingness to try is worse than any failure." These words resonate with the concepts we will discuss, which also revolve around understanding oneself better and using one's skills to assist others.

The Metaphorical Approach to Feedback

Imagine getting served your favorite meal on a trash can lid. That brutal moment when what's good turns horrific is much like someone giving you feedback in a non-receivable way. This piece will provide tips on serving this "meal" or feedback in a manner that makes it receivable.

Mastering the Craft of Feedback

Understanding Self

Before exploring how to give feedback, it is essential to understand how you prefer to receive feedback. If it's hard for you to articulate the ways you like to receive feedback, this could be a good place to start rethinking and identifying specific conditions for your feedback suitability.

For instance, I like one-on-one feedback, preferably received within seven days. My appreciation of the feedback depends on the presenter's intentionality and whether they genuinely wish to see me grow. Identifying and communicating your preferred method of taking feedback helps foster a conducive feedback culture within the workplace.

Building Trusting Relationships

The next important step in giving feedback effectively is building relationships founded on trust, vulnerability, and respect. Leaders in particular, whether declared by title or influence, need to develop these relationships with their peers, direct reports, and management. Having a trusting relationship with colleagues makes the exchange of feedback smoother and more efficient.

Articulating Feedback Clearly

Articulating feedback involves determining why a particular action, behavior, or situation affected you negatively. Being able to explain why you felt a certain way from that act is key to delivering actionable and positive feedback.

Lexy B's 6-step framework for giving actionable feedback is as follows:

  1. Start by understanding how you like to receive feedback. Proceed to specify the behavior or situation you observed.
  2. Share your intention of giving feedback.
  3. Express gratitude to the person taking your feedback.
  4. Discuss the impact— how the behavior you observed affected you.
  5. Constructively workshop actions and solutions.
  6. Ask if the person wants your help. Remember that people don't have to take your feedback.

The goal here is to align the action, behavior or decision with its impact.

Conclusion

Proper, actionable feedback is a worthwhile gift in any professional or personal environment. Keep in mind that just like any gift, people are free to accept or reject it. It's also crucial to note that withholding feedback can be as harmful as giving non-receivable feedback.

I hope this thorough dissection and tips on giving feedback have been insightful. As we champion each other’s growth in our respective spaces, let's strive to give feedback in the most receivable way. Remember, everyone appreciates their favorite meal served on a beautiful plate. Let's practice handing criticism the same way.


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