Um So thank you so much to those of you that are joining me. I'm not the greatest person with tech. Um But uh my name is Louise Westra and welcome to our session, three lifetimes in one breaking the cycle of perpetual overreaching.So women today need a personal strategy alongside their professional one. Otherwise they fall into the cycle of overreaching without even knowing they're doing it without that awareness and without a strategy in place, women will continue to pay the price for their professional success with their health and add greater numbers to the increasing burnout statistics.

So, who am I to be talking to you about this? Um That's a good question. I just wanna check that you guys um aren't popping up in the chat? Well, I'm a naturopath. I've been a naturopath for the last 20 years and I've been working with women and for the last eight years with organizations to ensure that women build the health and the resilience and the strategy that we need to flourish in all our roles throughout the 21st century. And it's imperative, we do that to counteract the pace and the reach of our lives. We need to understand how much and how often we're overreaching and overdo and to make adjustments accordingly. Oops. So what can you expect from this session? Well, we're gonna look at our modus operandi, our strengths, our default choices, which are our boundaries and also our biological needs, ensuring that all those things are front and center of our decision making and look at learning how we can create physical and mental and emotional resilience within the 21st century.

So as I've already stated, women today are now living the equivalent of three lifetimes in one, we haven't got a lot of time today to really deep dive into this aspect. But I would ask you to take a moment now and after the session to think about your grandmother's life, uh your great grandmother's life, even your mother's life and compare it to your own. Now. Certainly some things um were perhaps simpler for them. Some things were more difficult, certainly, for instance, household tasks, um there were less conveniences. So those kind of things took more time. But most of our uh the women coming before us weren't juggling home lives, professional lives. Um And, and of course, they didn't have the same opportunities as us and please don't misunderstand me. I definitely don't want women to uh have less opportunities than we currently have. Um But, you know, to understand that with opportunity whilst that's incredibly enriching, but alongside that striving to achieve all the time to push the envelope to break through the glass ceilings can leave us vulnerable to fatigue and exhaustion and on the trajectory to burn out if we don't know the early signs and learn to break this cycle.

And this cycle is really well embedded guys um into most of us as individuals and into our societal structures. We're encouraged to overreach, encouraged to overdo from an early age. I don't know about you. But as soon as I got to high school, um I was taught that the harder I worked, the more I could achieve, the greater the attention I would receive and the more accolades. So I worked really, really hard. I played hard. I got part time job. I volunteered for things I was passionate about. And uh you know, I performed my role as a good girl by exceeding my capacity and modeling success in the only way that I saw it. And so my first uh kind of recommendation for you is to start this process by becoming curious and to ask yourself this, you know, is your success really your success by which I mean, please take time after this session to consider what success really means for you rather than simply stepping onto a conveyor belt that leads you from A to B because you might unwittingly be living somebody else's idea of success rather than your own.

And I see a lot of women who, you know, they spend a lot of time uh energy, they invest a lot of money in planning a wedding, um in planning a family, you know, celebration, not so much lately, but you know, in planning holidays and they spend more time, energy and money doing that than they do considering what success really is for them.

So if you're unsure where to start, think about your last day on earth and what you would like that to look like because the clues um are right there for you. Now, when it comes to our modus operandi, our strength, this is the way that we use our strengths to operate at work and at home. And unfortunately, I see a lot of women who, you know, feel like they're failing at home because they're draining themselves at work and they've got little left over for um for their families, for their relationships once that working day is finished. So it's a good time to check in if you haven't considered your strengths for a while or ever, or if you know that you're not leaning into those strengths. Um You know, let's make sure we learn about the strengths that we do have naturally. The ones that we're relying upon comfortable using. Also making sure that we're not overplay the natural strengths where we might actually need to be cultivating others as well. And one of the things that I see time and time again is that many women in the corporate world are still operating from a very patriarchal um place rather than harnessing, you know, what are considered traditionally to be more female attributes.

But of course, in fact, we need to get rid of this type of stereotypical delineation completely and utterly and build a variety of strengths that foster a more balanced approach to our working life, our home life and the people around us. And when we, as women shut down parts of ourselves, when we ignore our strengths and we don't lean into them. Um If we overuse them, um then, you know, if we're doing that eight hours a day, five days a week, then we shouldn't really be, be surprised if at some point, our body starts to revolt because the emotional, the mental, the physical energy required to manage that degree of performance is quite considerable and it will drain and deplete us without fail.

Our default choice is those boundaries. Now, let me just tell you a quick story from one of my clients, Michelle was newly married. Uh She was a high performer um excelling in her career. She was on the fast track um to leadership and she really prided herself on her mantra of if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. This didn't just mean doing things well, of course, it meant being the best uh doing it to the nth degree, getting it all done, not showing any weakness, not asking for help. And as a result, she was quite depleted and starting to get a feeling of, of, you know, like that kind of feeling of dread in her stomach most mornings, um, her appetite wasn't as good as it used to be. And, um, you know, Michelle wasn't only the best for herself but for others. So she wanted to be the best wife. She was the best daughter, the best friend, the best sister and the best coworker. And of course, she wanted to be the best leader and being the best for Michelle basically meant saying yes to everything because saying no was mean, saying no was selfish. Uh saying no might appear to um might scupper her chances to progress at work.

So we looked at all the things that Michelle had scheduled. We looked at all the things she'd agreed to do for others in the near future and she explained how uh overwhelmed she felt because there was never enough time. And remember, we haven't even added Children into this mix yet and, and Michelle didn't want them. So I asked her what really needed to be done by her and what could be delegated? Her response was, you know, I really like to help and uh that tells me immediately that Mi Michelle had an issue around um setting boundaries uh around how much and how often she was willing to help, especially others. So her level of willingness and her desire to, you know, overdo and over help others was impossible to sustain without damaging her health, both in the short term and in the longer term. So we worked on unpacking this. Um And uh you know, Michelle uh learned that um you know, uh this need to say yes and help. Everyone was uh driven by a number of things. And we began to establish boundaries with an understanding of what that would do for her time deficit. And we also prepared her for the push back because, you know, we teach those around us how to treat us. And the people around Michelle were about to get a very different type of education to the one they'd had previously.

But Michelle knew that saying no was going to give her time to enjoy her marriage more saying no would reduce her feelings of angst and overwhelm. And that feeling of dread each morning saying no, would allow her to feel more fun, experience more joy and, and laughter and saying no would also have a positive impact on her biology to calm her down more often and in preparation for making a baby saying no, would reduce her overreaching and start to break that cycle.

I also really want you to recognize some of the signs that you're overreaching. These are what I call the messages from our body, mind and spirit. And I regularly see women physically crashing and burning. Um you know, maybe 23 times a year and thinking that that's normal because it's so common, they then pick themselves up, you know, dust themselves off. Think that that's resilience. Um, you know, met, they're met with applause by everyone around them or Bravo, you know, what a trooper, um, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But, you know, all that happens is that overreaching, that overdo it recommences only this time we've got slightly less in the tank until we get to the never, well, since scenario, that's a point in time when you look back and say, I've never really felt well since such and such a time or since such and such was happening.

And so because obviously, I don't want you to be on that trajectory. Let's have a quick look at some of the more subtle signs that happen that are messages telling you that you are overdo. The problem is that we're not really trained or, or, you know, we, we're not given the language to interpret those, those um messages from our body. So the first message from your body is that you regularly wake at night. So, you know, if you wake with the same thoughts going round and round, if you wake with, you know, your heart racing a little bit or, you know, sensations of, of pulsating or throbbing in various areas of your body, then that's an indication that you're not switching biologically from doing to being it's a sign that you need to slow down and prioritize yourself even when you believe that you've got to keep going.

You've probably heard the phrase pause to progress most of you, I'm sure have been on an airplane where you were told to put the oxygen mask on first. That all sounds well and good. Um This is a chance to consider where we need help and support. Um So on a practical level, if this is happening, think about work, you know, what could we delegate? What w what could we co collaborate on rather than holding as a, a project for ourselves? Are there any meetings we could change the duration on the timings of, are there any deadlines that could shift at home? Share how you feel, give others the opportunity to help you and, you know, rather than watching a rerun on TV, at night or scrolling on your phone, you know, maybe take 10 minutes to do a guided relaxation or, or some meditation. The second sign is that you never stop. Maybe you don't even know how to, if this is you, it's a sure sign that your nervous system needs to stop. Many of us are biologically compelled to keep going regardless, you know, to keep pushing, to keep moving, irrespective of how tired we are. And that's pathological. It's often related to childhood trauma and, or the messaging that we aren't worthy unless we're busy doing.

So, if we don't find ways to slow down and get comfortable in that space, we'll ultimately crash and burn it usually at the most inopportune moments. This is an opportunity to work on our self, compassion and the feeling of being enough. Number three, you're a born worrier. Um you know, and that's it, isn't it? That's your personality. Well, actually personality and the way we think, feel and behave are profoundly impacted by our biology being a worrier playing out all those. What ifs maybes in the uncertainties, you know, of a myriad of different possible outcomes is also a sign of mental and emotional depletion. Um And uh this is a pattern that can benefit from exploration. And in my experience also respond really beautifully to hands on treatments such as um uh you know, craniosacral osteopathy, craniosacral therapy. They work to interrupt us. Uh our our neurological pattern from being to uh from doing to being number four, you regularly wake un un refreshed even if you're dead to the world all night waking in the morning. Um and feeling like you're crawled out of a hole or you've been hit by a truck is a sure sign that your body's struggling to get what it um get its own work done overnight whilst we're asleep, the body's actually supposed to be focused on our cellular housekeeping.

This is a um known more formally as autophagy and it's so profoundly important that in 2016, a researcher was given the or awarded the Nobel Prize for Physiology and Medicine for, for their research in this area. So if you wake uh feeling unfresh, um sorry, if you don't wake, feeling refreshed and ready for the day, it can be an excellent sign that the body isn't getting what it needs um to do the right thing by you. Um As a result, your clean up detoxification and repair will be impaired and you know, because the body will always prioritize what it perceives to be an emergency, which is you continuing to do all the things. Um And that doesn't allow for optimal function in regard to cleaning up. Um the waste of our body, a good way to start helping the body be more equipped to do these tasks completely is to start pulling back our food consumption at the end of the day. So if we can learn to stop eating 2 to 3 hours before bedtime, um which allows us to go into a fasting state and allows the body to clean house. And lastly, um if you're increasingly reliant on stimulants, it doesn't have to be coffee can be sugar. Um Hopefully they're legal stimulants, then that's often your body telling you I'm depleted. I'm struggling to create the high quality, consistent energy that you need to flourish. In my experience.

This is where um learning a bit more about our own individual bodies and which organs and organ systems may benefit from. Um Some support can be hugely impactful because, you know, we need to ensure that we have the quality of energy that we want and deserve to live the lives that we, you know, we deserve. So in conclusion, I want you to firstly get curious, make sure you know what success means to you. I want you to explore your strengths and make sure that you're integrating both the strengths that are natural to you and the learned ones um that you need to balance out those natural strengths. I want you to consider your boundaries, make sure they're in place and listen to your body's messages and honor its needs. And uh I would also like to say thank you very much for your time. It's been a whistle stop tour. Um But uh oh, thank you, Luna. Um I'd love for you to go over to linkedin and connect with me there and if you have enjoyed the session, then uh please feel free to write me a short recommendation. Um I'm just checking the chat for um any questions.

Thank you so much, all of you for joining me. Um Yes, exactly. Graciella. So important to define sex success on our own terms. Uh Luna's already feeling more relaxed. Oh, that's wonderful. You are welcome, Seth. Um And Neil, thank you for joining me. Um Christina, just what you needed to hear. Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you, Marissa for joining me. We've got a couple more minutes. So if you did want to pop any questions in the chat. Oh, Melinda Thank you. This was so great. Thank you. Thank you, Edna. Thank you, Miga. Oh, there's some wonderful names Sylvia. Thank you, Zain. Thank you so much Veronica. Thank you for joining me. Um Thank you, Catherine. Um I hope to connect with you all over on linkedin and I hope you enjoy the rest of this wonderful conference. Thank you so much to the organizers for having me. Um Yes, Melinda, I really look forward to connecting with you on linkedin. Um And you have a wonderful day. It's actually 10 at half past four in the afternoon here in the UK. Uh Tully, what a beautiful tee Anna, what a beautiful name. Ok. I think that the session is just about to end. So, uh thank you again so much for joining and enjoy the rest of the conference.