Succeeding in Male-Dominated Industry by Stefanie Khan

Automatic Summary

Empowerment and Leadership in the Tech Industry

Good day to everyone tuning in from different parts of the globe for this enriching conference. Today, I am not only enthusiastic about sharing this platform with impressive tech industry leaders but also equally humbled.

Through the course of my career, I have recognized that it's not just the laurels and accolades that shape us as leaders. More importantly, it's about surmounting challenges and overcoming hard times that truly mold us. Consequently, I am here not to talk about the triumphs, but to discuss my journey as the senior director of Data Analytics for Red Hat, and the lessons I learned on my way here.

Standing Up for Yourself in a Male-Dominated Field

"To make a difference, you must first become the difference you wish to see." Initially, a fresh graduate full of zeal and enthusiasm, I was certain that hard work and devotion would bring the rewards. When I’d been with a health care organization for four years, a male counterpart of mine was promoted despite me having more qualifications and experience. The deception and frustration made me question my commitment to the organization.

Until finally, I decided to confront my vice president. That act of standing up for myself resulted in a much-deserved promotion and a substantial pay raise. The lesson I learned? Ladies, it might be intimidating, but sometimes, you must demand what you deserve and know your worth.

The Power of Constructive Feedback

The first time I ventured into management, I was prepared to offer my best. However, during my first quarterly review, I was told I was unapproachable. At that moment, instead of carrying this feedback as a burden, I opted to use it to my advantage. I reflected upon it and noticed subtleties that may have contributed to this perception.

Change came when I started conveying my messages in a manner that resonated better with my teams, basically learning to say no with a smile. With this new approach, I realized that receiving feedback, no matter how sharply contrasted it is with our perceptions, can be a chance for us to evolve if we choose to see it constructively.

Success in a Male Dominated Industry

Advancing in the tech industry as a woman comes with its own set of challenges. From countless board meetings to stakeholder sessions, you often find yourself outnumbered not just in the head count but also in terms of opinions and perspectives. However, in these instances, don't be afraid to challenge the status quo. Sometimes, it is your differences that give you an advantage and enable you to offer a fresh outlook.

  • An interesting survey revealed that only 25% of senior leadership roles are occupied by women.
  • This statistic showcases our significant progress but also underlines that we still have a long journey ahead.
  • Use your unique edge to stand out and leverage your experiences, drive, and uniqueness to transform and innovate.

Wrapping Up: Be the Pink in a Sea of Gray

While I wrap up this engaging session, I want to remind each of us that our failures or bad experiences aren't setbacks but stepping stones to learning and self-improvement. Be unafraid to accept feedback and make changes to better yourself. But more than anything, do not hide who you are. It's your unique personality that sets you apart.

Every challenge we brave through further honed diversity, and every unique perspective that we bring to the table paves the way for innovation. Dare to dream, challenge yourself every day, diversify your offerings, and always strive to add more value. After all, in striving to be "the pink in a sea of gray", we don't just standout, we set the pace and break the monotony.

Let's take advantage of the remaining sessions in this women and tech global conference and continue to learn from the wealth of experiences shared here. Remember to be the pink in the sea of gray. Take care.


Video Transcription

Um Good morning, good afternoon and good evening. I know this is a global uh audience here. So absolute pleasure to be here. So grateful and honored to be a part of this amazing conference.Um A lot of great content from so many leaders um within the tech industry, so happy to spend the next couple of minutes here just to walk you through a little bit of, of what I would like to share during um during this morning. Um I've spent the last couple of weeks kind of pondering what my message was going to be to you. What is it that I wanted to convey that would be impactful and leave uh a level of impact in all of the female leaders in this virtual room. To be honest, as I think through that, it's, it's really not the wins and the successes that have crafted me to be the leader that I am today. Um I'm currently the senior director of Data Analytics for Red Hat. So Fortune 500 company uh that is really spearheading all things open source. Um I've spent about 15 years of my life in all things data. So from end to end solutions including data warehousing and um data science predictability. A IRP A the list goes on. Um But instead of talking about who I am and my background or my, my technical experience, I kinda wanted to share with you today some of the challenges um and some of the rough times that have taught me to be a better leader.

And I'm hoping that the conversation over the next couple of minutes here will be impactful. Um really trying to keep this more conversational. So I have not prepared any sort of deck or slides to read off of. I really just wanna share some of my personal experiences throughout my career that I has helped me drive um who I am and transform into who I am as a leader and, and also um how I've been adaptive to the varying scenarios throughout my career. And I really hope that even if I impact one person today, then I'm able to, to make that change and, and welcome everyone. I see a, a few folks joining also um from all over the world. Poland Sydney Australia. That is amazing. Thank you so much for taking the time to join me here. I'm gonna get started today and, and take you back, not trying to date myself here, but almost almost 15 plus years. Um back to my earlier career, I was fresh out of school, eager to work hard, very dedicated. Um Hoping that I would be justly rewarded. And I was working for a health care organization started out as a financial analyst pivoted into a more technolo technology focussed role um and spent every waking hour that I could to do the best job possible.

So working weekends extra long hours delivering all my projects on time trying to be as collaborative and thoughtful as I possibly could be. In fact, my my leader at the time referred to me as her golden child. So I took that as, as a notion of a job well done. However, four years went by, there was no promotion in sight and I, I thought that it was coming, I would continue to do a good job and that that promotion would come. Little did I know a male colleague, a male counterpart was promoted. He did not have the credentials that I had. He did not have the background or experience that I had. I remember some very solid feelings around disappointment, levels of betrayal, sadness, anger, all of the above.

And I also remember going home that night feeling a little defeated, feeling a little lost. Um I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what that meant for me for the work that I've done for my loyalty to this company. What, what does that mean for me with my colleague being promoted? And I had not um I woke up the next morning and I said, you know what I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to face my fears and stand up for myself. So I approached my vice president that morning. I very vividly remember walking into her office and asking if she had a couple of minutes to chat and she said, sure, come on in, I walked in, closed the door, sat down. I remember my palms being ever so sweaty and, um, I was so probably the most nervous I had ever been in my entire life. And I sat and I pled my case, I, I conveyed to her that I am a great employee that I have done everything that you have ever asked me to do and beyond. And I've recently learned that my counterpart had been promoted and why haven't I been promoted? Paused and waited for her response. And to my dismay, her response was you absolutely deserve a promotion.

And I kind of chuckled to myself as I am now because I was shocked at that response and, and within a week, I was promoted and giving a given a substantial pay raise and a promotion and, and I left her off office, feeling happy and feeling that I had accomplished what I sought out to, to accomplish that morning.

However, reflecting on that scenario, this is the messaging that I want you to really listen to is sometimes you're not given what you are deserved of, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and ask for it and not only ask for it but demand it. And while we may be, we as women may be given the opportunities along the way, we may not be justly rewarded along the way. There may be feelings of being underappreciated there. And you really need to be empowered in who you are and the in the, the work that you're producing and the value that you're adding and that level of incremental that nobody else can bring um to know your worth and demand what you're worth to first message me there and uh thank you.

I'm, I'm seeing some more, some more folks rolling in here. Um Moving right along. I wanted to tell you a little bit about another experience that I had and this is a little further on into my career. Um I was a first time manager, first time managing people and to take you back a little bit, I was raised to always put my best foot forward. Always look my best, always dress my best, always dress for the job that I wanted. Although that has certainly changed in the last couple of years working from home and, and, and having the luxury of um being a little bit more flexible there. Um But alongside that, I've also al also been told that I'm overdressed, I'm overly assertive and direct and unapproachable.

And by the way, these are often qualities that are highly celebrated in men. So it's always been a little puzzling to me to get that sort of feedback. So going back to, to the initial story here, um first job as a manager, first job managing people, I had my first quarterly review of which I was excited. I thought I was doing a fantastic job. I had taken on a lot of incremental work, a lot of leadership responsibilities, learning so much and kind of really en enjoying that journey of transitioning from an individual contributor over to a leader. And um at the beginning of, of that feedback session was very, very positive.

But the end note ended with my boss telling me that I was unapproachable. And now this is something that I had heard almost my entire life. But from a professional capacity where I knew I was giving it 100 and 10% I was shocked that I was being told that I was unapproachable, puzzled by it. In fact, I, I remember also leaving his office and thinking about how can I be unapproachable. I'm the one that organizes the happy hours. I'm the one that's, you know, stopping and talking with everyone and being as social as I possibly can. So what could he possibly mean by I was unapproachable? So instead of taking it in a negative light, I really started to spend the next couple of weeks to observe myself to do some self reflection. What was my demeanor? What was my communication style? What was my body language and Um After I started paying attention to that, I really, I, I started noticing some things to myself that would lean into a perception where I was unapproachable. And I took that feedback and instead of taking it as a negative light, I decided to improve and incorporate that into.

Um my approach going forward, I realized that in order to drive change, in order to drive transformation, in order to drive innovation, I had to be direct and assertive, but I had to be direction in a sort of in a way that would be received. Well, so that what that translates to me in summary is being able to say no with a smile on my face, being able to deliver a message that would resonate with, with the teams and with my colleagues and with my leaders where it wasn't coming across uh as being demanding or, or overly directive, but more so being understanding.

Um so going back to my boss at the time and that, and that level of feedback that he gave me and, and really my choice to take it as constructive feedback. Um a a level of thought there was, was he trying to hold me back? And, and really, I didn't know the answer, I really did it. So instead of taking it in a negative light, I decided to tweak my approach ever so slightly and like I said, be a little bit warmer, say no with a smile build friendships with your leaders and your teams. And I urge you that the next time you receive a piece of feedback that is not aligned with your perception with what you're trying to accomplish with the work that you're doing. Take a step back to do sort of an out of body experience and observe yourself in a non biased way to really compare and contrast your approach against others to really evaluate yourself and really hone in on whether this piece of feedback is intuitive is valuable, is something that you can take to make something better about yourself.

Um Instead of taking it into a negative light and I'm reading through the comments, I I will go back after after this session. I there's one other topic I want to get through in the last couple of minutes here. But thank you so much for the comments and feel free to reach out to me per personally with, with um any other, any other questions or comments. But the la the last point I wanted to hone in on is is the topic of today succeeding in a male dominated industry, being a woman in a male dominated industry. Um It, it dates back to when, you know, I just decided to venture into learning about technology, getting a degree and, and and really pursuing um this passion of mine and being questioned by friends and family. If you don't wanna be a nurse, you don't want to get into a more female friendly field. You wanna sit at a computer and write code all day. Although, you know, I don't do that anymore, but I have to, I have teams that do that today. Um You know, it is an ongoing challenge of being AAA woman in a male dominant industry in uh in a male dominated industry. In fact, I recently read a really interesting survey that said one out of four senior leaders are women that may feel like a great number.

We're certainly making strides, but one out of four is only 25% of senior leaders. That's not a very big portion. So like I said, we're making huge strides here, but we're still the minority, although we represent almost half or I think at, at this rate a little bit over half of the world's total population. So it is really an uphill battle and taking myself into a professional, taking my story back into a professional landscape here. As I think through board meetings and c suite meetings and leadership meetings, I'm often outnumbered in stakeholder, stakeholder and board meetings, not only in head count but also in opinion and perspective and it can be intimidating. And that's something as women. We have to be able to overcome that just because we're a little bit different just because we don't look like everybody else in the room does not mean that we haven't, does not mean that we don't have an equal say and that our opinions and perspectives should not be equally, um equally validated.

And so when I think about myself, I bring something very different to the table. It's a combination of a lot of minority related uh statistics. So I'm a millennial, I'm Asian, I'm woman. I'm young. I'm, I'm really into fashion and, and all of those things that come alongside things that are so not traditionally technology related checks. A lot of diversity buckets, doesn't it? Um I've learned throughout my career to use that to my advantage, to use the differences in me and, and to really set my opinion outside of the box and challenge that status quo a couple years ago. Um I coined the term be the pink in a sea of gray, be the pink in a sea of gray. What does that mean to me? To me that means driving that change that you want to see? Set the example be the role model. Don't be afraid to challenge the status quo. Offer a different perspective, use your differences to your advantage. Um Use your unique edge to stand out. Yes, you may not look like everybody else in the room and your opinions may not be aligned with everybody else in the room, but your experience, your drive and everything that makes you, you is going to help you drive and transform and innovate and help a lot of what we're doing today, make huge impacts as we go into, into the world.

Um A couple of minutes left here, I'm gonna, I'm kind of wrap up the talk and really think about the key messaging that I'm leaving with you today. Um Don't take your bad experiences as failures. I urge you don't be intimidated by the things that you do wrong. Um Take them as lessons learned, take them as an opportunity to grow and self reflect and really think purposefully and intentionally and how you need to tweak yourself to be better. Take them as opportunities for you to level up your way of thinking, take feedback as constructive.

Don't, don't take feedback in a negative light. Stand up for yourself, know your worth be yourself more importantly, don't hide who you are. It's that personality that's gonna set you apart, especially when you don't look like everybody else in the room or that you don't, if you don't think like everybody else in the room as, as sort of minorities in the c suite here, we have to really stand up for ourselves to challenge the status quo.

Um I challenge you each of you when you go home today and all of you are probably at home in this virtual world. But you know, when, when your work day is over, look at yourself in the mirror and, and see all of you for who you are. The good, the bad, the different, the unique, I urge you to embrace it. Accept it own who you are and use it to your advantage. It is your unique perspective that is going to help you a approach, your career goals, approach your life, goals, get to the next level. Um I urge you to take what makes you different and use it to your advantage. I urge you to dare to dream and challenge yourself every single day to step outside of your own personal box and really diversify your offerings, diversify your values and take those actions and really craft who you are. Um With that. I will wrap up my session. I hope that the last couple of minutes here has been impactful um and really enjoy the sessions thus far. We have AAA whole day ahead of us as well as a couple more days ahead in in this women and tech global conference. So really learning to really loving uh all of the sessions and and looking forward to learning more about each of you with that. Take care. Remember be the pink and the sea of gray. I urge you to do that. Take care, Yvonne. Bye bye.